For those of you who need help following this amazing song you loved to listen to back in the day when you were high on cocaine.

Nothing is funnier that literal versions of 80s videos.

If you're going to dress up as Spider-Man, make sure you're as tough as Spider-Man and not a total douchenozzle.

Next time you're feeling down, pop in this CD and feel like a total loser.

...pounds at Bally's Total Fitness!

Did you know babies are total idiots and have no idea lemons taste sour?

That Spartan armor isn't looking so tough now is it?

No one should ever be penalized for leaving the ice and completely leveling their opponent. If anything they should rewarded for making hockey watch able.

Quato, the talking fetus from Total Recall has FINALLY found new work! Thank God, watch him this fall on Fox, your home for quality entertainment.

Britney crashes her Benz cause she's a total "braniac" y'all.

Normal Person + Anonymity + Audience = Total F*¢kWad

Amazing 3D Transformers breakdancing video! It makes your Uncle Chuck's version of "the robot" look like total crap.

Mel faces Jail, New York faces heat, and Paris faces the press (and looks dumb). Philip Norris has the latest, and doesn’t have sex with boys!

If you’re always dropping your baby and your husband is a total douche bag, there’s only one man to call – The Manny! Join Britney Spears, Kevin Federline and the new man in her life, The Manny, in this new animated sitcom!

CNN's Nancy Grace makes herself look like a total asshat when she jokes about the Duke Lacrosse Rape Scandal. You must see this.

Once again, it's time for you to be a total douche bag and prank your friend with an LG Sabotage. This one will make them think their identity is stolen. Identity theft is hilarious!

Watch Kanye West make an argument for why he should win a Grammy Award. This guy is a total douche bag.

What are you? Not that bitch, a total bitch, the biggest bitch on the planet? Take this quiz to find out.