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WEEKLY FEATURES

Batman Is Rich!

NEWS

Celebrity News!

Batman Is Rich!
Sex Tape Edition

WHO'D YOU RATHER?

A celebrity sex game!

Sex Tape Edition
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VIDEOS

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah
When Tom Cruise gets crazy, he gets angry. And when Tom gets angry, he kills Oprah.
4/28/2008

ANIMATIONS

TomKat Baby from Outerspace

TomKat Baby from Outerspace
Do you want to wait months for the birth of Tom Cruise’s baby? Don’t worry, you can see all the action right here. Vaginal birth is cool!
2/27/2008

ANIMATIONS

Famous Babies

Famous Babies
Watch Suri Cruise, Sean Preston Spears, Moses Paltrow and Baby Bradgenlina in this parody of everybody’s favorite Saturday morning cartoon, The Muppet Babies.
6/12/2007

PHOTOS

Scientology Punishes Katie!

Scientology Punishes Katie!
Katie Holmes is reportedly being punished by the "church" of Sciencrappery for not abiding by their alien overlords rules! No, Katie, NOOOOO!
3/14/2007

NEWS

What's In a Stupid Name?

What's In a Stupid Name?
What’s with Tom Cruise naming his Scientology baby Suri? How about Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby, Moses? Why do celebrities insist on naming their babies such stupid names?
4/21/2006

VIDEOS

David Spade Talks Suri

David Spade Talks Suri
How did Katie Holmes Cruise give birth to TomKitten? David Spade spills the beans.
4/21/2006

NEWS

Dick Cheney's Duck Hunt

Dick Cheney's Duck Hunt
This week Dick Cheney shoots a man, TomKat almost breaks up, and Kid Rock and Scott Stapp touch magic sticks. Disgusting, weird and newsworthy.
2/17/2006

VIDEOS

Oprah Grills Cruise

Oprah Grills Cruise
A video mashup of Tom Cruise being smacked down by Oprah. Oh how we love us some mashups!
2/17/2006

NEWS

Suck My News Weekly: Chewbacca Is One of Us

Suck My News Weekly: Chewbacca Is One of Us
Finally, Chewbacca becomes an American, TomKat has boring sex, Mary-Kate quits college, and other stuff we really can’t remember right now.
10/14/2005

NEWS

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Create Alien Baby

Suck My News Weekly: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Create Alien Baby
Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.
10/7/2005

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