Cyber skin removed, this is what Tom really looks like. No self respecting gay man should ever let himself get this fat. Queericide, it’s the only answer.

This English cat waits every morning for his owner to pick him up nearly a mile from the house. No one knows where he goes or why, but every morning he is waiting at the exact same place at 8 am.

How many of you that voted for him, still think you made the best choice? Wait… are those robot legs!!? AWESOME!

Wait a minute.. Who wants their teeth to get darker?

Pauly Shore has gotten fat! This girl must either be blind, dumb or under the assumption Pauly has money… wait.. Does he?

Yes, Guinness is worth the wait of a slow pour but is it really worth trashing a small village?

Lighting farts is so hot! Why can't all girls be like this. No, no wait - on second though, we don't want this.

Is Marie Osmond "dancing with an eating disorder" again? Or did all of the bright lights and Tom Bergeron's voice finally become too nauseating?

"I spy something black and yellow quickly moving… towards my.. Wait a minute. DEAR GOD NO!"

In theaters 11-9-07. Robert Redford, Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise star in Lions For Lambs, a powerful and gripping story that digs behind the news, the politics and a nation divided to explore the human consequences of a complicated war.

That little Zac Efron chick was caught taking nude pictures of herself. No wait, this is the other female lead. Ah who cares, free boobs!

Here's the gorilla-Phil Collins-Cadbury chocolate mash-up you've been waiting for. What you weren't expecting this? Well the Internet says you're welcome anyways.

Tom Cruise and Katie "Robot" Holmes have used the power of Xenu to fast forward time to see what their beautiful baby girl will look like. My eyes… my eyes.

An ex-Hollywood publicist leaked out news that Jake Gyllenhaal is gay and has been with a boyfriend for years. Wait, the guy from Brokeback Mountain? You lie!

A world-renowned gay bar caught fire this week. In typical fashion, the gays used it as en excuse to party and freak out the squares. Tom Cruise had no comment.

Episode one of The Guild, in which we meet the poor souls trapped within the world of internet gaming. Wait a minute… hot girls don’t play video games. What a rip, FAKE! Go to Watchtheguild.com for more info!

Tom & Katie boogied their butts off at the Beckhams "Welcome to America" party – apparently the chicken dance makes Tom sweat!

Oh, wait, whoops – Hold on, can we start over???

Paris donned a black wig to make an "incognito" escape to Maui after her Larry King interview. I guess saving the world can wait for vacation!

Chrisopher Blue has apparently been soaked in booze. Was he drunk during his session? No, BUT every review I have read about him compares his songs to Tom Waits and says he has “blues-soaked vocals.” I dunno about all that, but I do know this is one helluva performance. Watch it…now!