DAILY TOP 10
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Make a video game controller out of anything.
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FAT KONG
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News Girl Caught With Something Between Her Legs
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Crackhead at Funeral
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Slinky on a treadmill
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Wheel of Fortune Fail
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17-year-old Pistol Whips Her Mom For a Car
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Lindsay Lohan's Boob Song
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Sexy or Ugly Friend?
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Wii Fit with Britney Spears
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The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.
Sociopathlete: Lawrence Taylor, former Linebacker, New York Giants
The real LT appeared in court the other day to claim that police violated his rights when they entered a hotel room he was sleeping in to seize evidence that he had paid a sixteen-year-old runaway $300 for sex. Court papers in a related but separate case say he admitted to sex acts with the girl. What they don't say is that LT didn't even practice soliciting prostitutes during the week, he just showed up on soliciting-prostitutes-day and made it happen. But at least he's taking it seriously.
Sociopathlete: Albert Haynesworth, Defensive Lineman, Washington Redskins
Brett Favre made the list last time for doing his job. Haynesworth makes it for refusing to do his. Coach Mike Shanahan suspended him for the final four games of the season without pay. Haynesworth didn't want to play nose tackle in the team's 3-4 defense. But he also didn't want to find a new team and give up his 21 million dollar contract bonus. So he just stayed on, but also didn't do his job - the best of both worlds. He also needed 10 days to pass a conditioning test at the start of training camp, showing that you don't need athleticism to have sociopathleticism.
The road to professional sports is one of the most effective sociopath assembly lines in the world. Separated from their peers by talent as kids, pandered to as teenagers, and idolized as adults, today's college and professional athletes know that forgiveness is only one contrite press conference away. We keep track of their antisocial behavior and marvel at their sociopathleticism in the Sociopathlete Round-Up.
Sociopathlete: Brett Favre, Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings
Brett Favre has the distinction of making the sociopathlete round-up merely by playing his sport. His massive ego demands that he keep the spotlight on himself for as long as the media will indulge him. His head coach was just beheaded. His team is 3 and 7 after losing to division rival Green Bay by a score of 31 to 3. At home. He's owed a minimum of 17 million dollars for this effort. And in case you didn't hear, he texted a picture of his penis to a woman who isn't his wife. And it was flaccid.
Sociopathlete: Tony Parker, Guard, San Antonio Spurs
In the "shockingly sociopathletic" category, a Frenchman turned out to be a lecherous cad. Tony Parker didn't cheat on his wife with Erin Barry, wife of former teammate Brent Barry, according to Parker and his people. They were just sexting. Thanks, Tony. For a second we though you were a complete fucking asshole.
An armless pianist.
That's a...unique talent.
It's a pretty useless talent, but I guess cats aren't known for the practicality.
Extraordinary Bird Impersonations
Is this a talent that can be cultivated or are people born with the skill?
Is this a talent that can be cultivated or are people born with the skill?
It's definitely a talent, but how did they discover it?
You know when you get really drunk and high from huffing spray paint (gold) out of a paper bag (brown) and you and your friends come up with the most AMAZING idea? These are the greatest ideas, right? Right?
What do you think would happen if for some reason you had access to all the elements and ingredients to make your ideas reality... Yeah and your grandparents owned some sweatshops where 12-year-olds slaved away making socks for the British Premier League, so you have a big trust fund. Basically, you have infinite resources. What do you think would happen?
Yeah, besides the first ever monkey, marshmallow go-cart champion being crowned, (Mr. Chattlebanks), because that's awesome.
What would happen?
You would make some pretty awful stuff, stuff that would amaze people on one level and one level only. Yeah, the "why-the-F-did-this-ever-get-made-and-who-thought-that-this-was-a-good-idea-were-they-high-on-gold-spray-paint?" level. You got it!
Oh, you want an example of this kind of idea brought to fruition?
How about this video where an underage white girl runway model, Karlie Kloss, claims to be from St. Luis and then plays ping pong with Notorious Wally Green?
Did that illustrate my point? Did I have a point?
I guess my point is that money is no substitute for talent and true genius, and neither is gold... spray paint.
P.S. JD Ferguson directed the above video. Is he the greatest director of our time?
Disclaimer: I did no research whatsoever into how this video actually came about, and I know nothing about JD Ferguson.
In my quest for pop culture knowledge, I watched the first episode of this season' American Idol.
What do I have to report?
You are going to see lots of tummies this Spring. If Celebrity Rehab (just watched a clip online) has taught us anything, it's that you don't have to be a winner to be a trend setter. I might not be in touch, but I do have somewhat of an erie talent for trend spotting, and if my senses are on the money, Janet McNamara is going to really leave her belly print on the halls and bathrooms of fashion this Spring and Fall. Over the next couple of months, expect to see even more jelly bellies than on Easter, which is actually in a couple of months.
Plus, don't be surprised if Janet doesn't turn out to be more successful in the long run than Ruben Studdard, just like everyone else. I can't imagine that the producers of the American Idol video game won't license her likeness for use as some sort of hidden character in the next edition of the game.
Furthermore, she inspired me to get pumped for my next job interview.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Yesterday PETA unveiled the latest ad for its "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" campaign, featuring Bethenny Frankel, member of People with Extraordinarily Little Talent Society (PELTS).
My Cheetah-lined hat is off to you, PETA, because your ads continue to intrigue me. I find myself thinking, as I cut into my still-mooing T-Bone, "Who is PETA's demographic?" Considering your recent choice of spokespeople, I can only assume that your research, presumably conducted by underpaid monkeys at typewriters, shows that your core audience is people invested in reality television. How else can you justify burning our retinas with the likes of Steve-O, Khloe Kardashian, and Karina Smirnoff? (You know it's bad when your last name is a brand and they still don't want you.)
It makes sense though. PETA's invasive studies done on bunnies, show that reality TV viewers are far less intelligent people who can be more easily swayed into giving up those necessary extravagances like fitted Dalmatian tees adorned with hamster noses, and squirrel-tail tampons.
And as for the rest of us, the nod-and-wink, upper-crust "Adult Swim" viewer? Manatee flippers make for a lovely corset.
The American Apparel contest got us thinking about butts, and then it got us thinking about cakefarts. And then Martha Stewart. We're geniuses the way we put things together.
This girl has an amazing talent that she's been working on since she shot out of her mother's womb. She can sneeze like there's no tomorrow. We totally wish we could do this so people wouldn't sit next to us on the airplane.
Liquid Generation has been corrupting the internet since 2000. We make funny, irreverent entertainment for web junkies and procrastinators of all types. From cartoons to videos, from games to online pranks, we do it all and we do it awesome.
Whenever you’re alone. Whenever you want to avoid work. Whenever you have no one to hug.
Liquid Generation is here to serve you.
We Love You,
Liquid Generation
P.S. You can write to us at talkback@liquidgeneration.com
We at Liquid Generation love it when friends, family, and personal enemies write to us with suggestions on how to make this website better. You should also feel free to email us if you find anything on the website that’s confusing, missing, spelled incorrectly, or just doesn’t work. We will promptly bring the wrongdoer out to the woods behind our office and shoot them to death.
However, if you just think that one of our animations, games or videos sucks, just keep those niceties to the comment section in each feature, loser.
You can email us at Talkback@liquidgeneration.com
Tyrese – Imperial Warlord
Tyrese Abdul Salaam Mohammad is Liquid Generation’s Imperial Warlord. Not much is known about His Excellency, except that he’s evaded numerous attempts on his life by the rival warlords that once roamed the dangerous streets in his hometown of Highland Park, IL. Now in California, Tyrese enjoys bonsai gardening and yo-yo dieting.
Email: tyrese@liquidgeneration.comSlippy Jenkins – Head Writer
Slippy Jenkins is the Head Writer at Liquid Generation. His responsibilities include the writing of things that are funny, as well as making sure that everything that goes up on Liquid Generation doesn’t suck. He and the LG creative team have been responsible for hundreds of popular cartoons, games and online tchotckies that have been seen by millions of people around the world and featured in the Chicago Sun-Times, Entertainment Weekly, Maxim Magazine, US Weekly, Defamer, Best Week Ever, G4TV, CNN, and one of his mother’s favorite “trash mags” Star Magazine, among others. He would like you to know that the previous sentence sounds really good when justifying his trade of penis & fart jokes to friends, family and potential girlfriends. Slippy Jenkins would also like you to know that his LG Sabotage screams are the direct result of pure talent and not of any vocal steroids, alcohol, street drugs, or other performance enhancers.
Slippy Jenkins currently lives in Los Angeles with his Roomba.
Email: slippyjenkins@liquidgeneration.comMonkey - Creative Director
Monkey began his illustrious career on the Internet by freelancing as a web designer. He was well known for creating some of the gaudiest self-serving Flash sites on all of the internets. He quickly joined the ranks of LG when they were headed in the direction of a Teen Portal. Soon after, Monkey and the other early members of LG realized that a Teen Portal was not the direction they should be going in, they should be making funny animations and games. Monkey’s illustration talents soon came into play and he began illustrating and animating for LG. Monkey soon realized that his years as a failed musician could also come in handy. He applied his talents to making LG’s famous PopToons -- the internet’s most sought after animated music videos starring celebrities. But, Monkey had another talent that his mother didn’t even tell him about: voiceover acting. Ever since he found out the he was one of the most talented voice actors to hit the “web stage,” he began doing most of the voices on the site, and continues to do so to this day. Monkey loves long walks on the beach, and bragging about his title of Liquid Generation’s own Creative Director.
Email: themonkey@liquidgeneration.comHelga Mohammed el-Salami – Chief Technology Officer
Helga Mohammed el-Salami, Secretary of Email Defense, Code Bitch, pre-operative transsexual.
Mr./Ms. el-Salami was an early convert to the Internet Revolution when, somewhere over a decade ago, he/she stole the source code from an early web page and boldly changed the header text. Since then, he/she has stolen code from tens of thousands of sources and appropriated it for Liquid Generation’s nefarious purposes. Some may have even been yours.
Several years ago, Mr./Ms. el-Salami had been charged with maintaining visitor satisfaction by serving as Liquid Generation’s email liaison. A job that, if judging by the volume of anger flowing through the mailroom, he/she has not been doing all that well
In his/her spare time, which we desperately try to minimize, Mr./Ms. el-Salami enjoys reading books and memorizing the Koran although he/she has had a hard time reconciling the teachings of the prophet with his/her desire to be the first trans-gendered lesbian. But regardless of his/her personal hurdles, Helga Mohammed el-Salami remains a soul seduced by the Internet’s romance. And its pornography.
August Rush Trailer
In theaters 11-21-07. "August Rush" tells the story of a charismatic young Irish guitarist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) and a sheltered young cellist (Keri Russell) who have a chance encounter one magical night above New York's Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, August Rush, orphaned by circumstance. Now performing on the streets of New York and cared for by a mysterious stranger (Robin Williams), August (Freddie Highmore) uses his remarkable musical talent to seek the parents from whom he was separated at birth.