Food rules this week as Reese is fat, Bush is “Hungary” and Katharine McPhee can’t keep her lunch down.

What’s with Tom Cruise naming his Scientology baby Suri? How about Gwyneth Paltrow’s baby, Moses? Why do celebrities insist on naming their babies such stupid names?

This week Britney Spears might be pregnant, President Bush is unpopular with the polls, Scott Stap is a douche bag, and more signs of the Apocalypse.

Can you tell the difference between stupid people and cupid? We could and that’s why we were able to make this game, stupid.

Okay, we get it. You love animals, especially flying rats. Katie, you look stupid.

This week Bush will address the nation, Google loves the communists, Joaquin Phoenix almost dies, Chris Penn does die, and Clay Aiken is gay.

We can no longer laugh when we see something like this. We cry rivers of tears.

See America's Finest President talk like a two-year-old. It's inspirational.

I'm sure he's just fixing a button.

Chicken Hawk or Chicken Whore?

We know that Dubya had a drinking problem, but we didn’t know he was still a drunk.

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

President George W. Bush is trapped when he tries to run away from a reporter. Wimp.

Celebrities don’t think before they talk, and that’s why they always say stupid things. People call this Diarrhea of the Mouth, or as we call it -- Celebrity Diarrhea Mouth.

One of Paris Hilton’s stupid boyfriends crashed her Bently into a truck. See the dumbassery unfold!

Watch people's faces when they realize they're going to be a parent. Stupid heads.

It's LiquidGeneration's policy to expose the stupidity of hipsters. Wait a minute. We are hipsters. Damn it!

This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.