You know God's just getting back at the world for all the horrible webshows on the internet. Instead of just picking us off one by one and sending us to heavan or hell, he's just tossing us about like ragdolls. JUST TAKE US ALREADY, GOD!!! STOP EMBARASSING US!
112 Sneezes In A Minute
This poor girl can't stop sneezing. Luckily the internet is here to make light of the horrible situation.
Boston.com outed all the celebrities who've had the Swine Flu, and good for them. These people need to be taken off the streets. They need to be banned from the public. I know these people are celebrities, and I know the entertainment they provide for hundreds of people across the world is important. But they need to stop...stop doing whatever they are doing. I'm talking about David Krejci and Chris Douglas-Roberts. I'm talking about that Rupert Grint. Landon Donovan, Brian Littrell, and that Melissa Rycroft, too. David Boreanaz, you're in our sights...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE? WHY THE HELL IS BOSTON.COM TRYING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE? EVEN RACHEL MADDOW AND DR. SANJAY GUPTA BARELY HIT MY RADAR BECAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO CNN AND MSNBC (Fox News all the way, baby!). YOU MEAN LADY GAGA IS NOT SICK!?! JON & KATE PLUS AND THEIR EIGHT LITTLE PIGGIES DON'T HAVE THE SNIFFLES YET!?! THANK YOU. THANK YOU, LORD. THANK YOU, SWEET EVERYBODY. BOSTON.COM, NEXT TIME YOU SEND AN ALERT OUT LIKE THIS MAKE SURE IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BEFORE I GO ALL CAPLOCKS ON YOUR ASS AND HURT SOMEBODY.
/KTHXBAI
P.S. I can't wait for this movie to come out...
(via Boston.com)
Demonic Osbourne Game
In case you didn’t realize it already, the Osbourne Family is evil – do everything you can to stop them.
Unicorns & Hand Grenades
Put a stop to all the Unicorn love going around on the Internet, and toss a grenade into the mouth of one of these pretty, magical beasts.
The Matrix Cat
The Matrix Cat can dodge bullets but he can't stop saying stoooopid things like "Whoaaaa" or "69, Dude!" when he really gets in the mood.
The Empire Hates Christmas
With the Death Star complete and Santa out of the way, nothing can stop them from destroying Alderon!
Hayden Panettiere Wants You To Stop Staring At Her Lips
Hayden, if there is anything you need done just tell us. We'll do anything for you, Meatloaf-style.
Windows vs. Mac
Another Windows vs. Mac comparison. Will everybody just stop making these comparisons and switch to a Mac already?
10 Lamest Happy Meals Ever
Kids today have to stop mom from substituting an apple for fries but at least they don't get stuck with these lame toys!
Wine-zilla Stops Traffic
Although it's easy to blame drugs on Winehouse's appearance in a traffic jam, this was actually a protest against the rising price of petrol in the UK.
Vote For Me 2008!
Vote for Phillip Norris in 2008! He has a plan to end the war, stop a recession, and start telling polish jokes again!
Dewey Cox Covers "Rehab"
Dewey Cox & The Hard Walkers played "Rehab" and other Cox "classics" on a tour stop in Nashville. This is becoming more realistic than "Ray".
Internet Pets on Strike
In solidarity with the WGA, pets are refusing to do anything adorable on camera. Wonder if porn stars will join and stop being slutty on camera. Probably not.
Out of your league, thankfully
Oh really? You stopped taking food stamps? Gawd, this isn't fair! Whose is gonna keep my buns warm now? Huh? HUH!?
Fighting on the Freeway
Two boyfriends didn't let oncoming traffic at 65mph stop them from fighting.
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