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Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.
So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!
In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...
8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"
7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.
6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.
5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!
(click here to see the rest of the list)
Intoxicated Boobs
These jugs have been drinking all day. It’s time you give them a Breathalyzer test.
Do You Know Hip-Hop Lingo?
Are you an expert on hip-hop and rap? This quiz will test how well you know hip hop street words, like “fly.” Don’t be such a white boy, check it yo!
10 Best Athletes Who Are Bad Sports
It's funny how certain athletes dominate in every aspect of their sport...except good sportsmanship. Check out this collection of death threats, sucker punches, and riots, to see for yourself.
Sex Face or Sports Face
We’re gonna show you a picture and you have to guess whether it’s a sports face or sex face. Don’t let this get you too excited. Your mom is in the other room.
Tom Cruise's Crazy Chamber
See what happens when scientists from the Planet Shaka Khan perform their tests on Hollywood Legend Tom Cruise. The results are shocking, strange, and morally wrong.
Classic Sitcom Themes: Fill In the Blank
You've heard them all a million times, but let's test to see how well you were paying attention to the lyrics!
The Ultimate Star Wars Personality Test
See what super-cool Star Wars character you are by taking this personality test. Are you Yoda? Darth Vader? Darth Sidious? Jar Jar Binks?
Sports Bra Underwear
In this recession you have to save every penny. Even if it means wearing your crappy underwear as a sports bra.
2009 Sports Illusrated Swimsuit Issue - Bar Refaeli
Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.
2009 Sports Illusrated Swimsuit Issue
Here's are some of the models in the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As you can probably imagine, they are all horrendously hot.
Wimbledon Daily Hot: June 23rd
Ana Ivanovic defeated Rossana De los rios in straight sets 6-1, 6-2. She also looks nice in a sports bra. That's called win, win ladies and gentlemen.
Apologetic Rally Car Driver
He's apologizing for the effect his sport has on global warming, not his inability to control his car.
How To Fail A Driving Test
This is payback for all the instructors that made you drive to pick up their laundry.
Fat Dudes Love Eva Herzigova
Although it's safe to say pretty much every dude with a Sports Illustrated subscription has "loved" Eva at some point.
Steeplechase Accident
Which is really the only thing that makes the event tolerable, oh and the puddles, those are cool; it's a sport with puddles, awesome!