Works like a cheese grater.

It's best just to accept it and stay indoors.

Anyone who has owned a cat, knows how they are with snow.

Like all people who don't consult the Bible to solve practical problems, I'm at war with Christmas. I wish people "Happy Holidays" , promote the idea of Santa Claus in order to deflect attention away from the role of the Christ-child, and accentuate the pagan elements of the celebration in favor of the Christian ones, which are in extreme danger with our country maintaining a paltry incidence of Christians at a mere 76%. And why wouldn't I? I stand to gain so much from the effort, I really can't afford not to. But we need a shot in the arm. So I'm mining the great war-mongers of the past for material. What do say, Genghis? How would you attack Christmas?

Genghis Khan: Well, first I'd find a few stores that feature religiously neutral decorations, like holly, wreaths, and maybe even some Kwanzaa stuff, because they'd clearly be part of the war effort. I'd absorb them into my army and ride to a store that has the nerve to wish people "Merry Christmas" when they check out. While riding we'd drag yule logs behind our horses to kick up extra dust and give the appearance of greater numbers. When I arrived at the store, let's say it's a Wal-Mart in Texas, I'd explain to the manager that he can either surrender, or everyone in the store can be killed. Then I'd camp out that night, instructing my soldiers to each light 3 Christmas trees apiece instead of just one, again to give the impression of greater numbers. We'd probably light a few Menorahs as well, just to show how at war with Christmas we really are. Naturally, there would be no praying.

Continue reading...

Ingenious idea.

Wait for it...

I guess certain people just cannot drive in snow?!!?

The people filming this, are absolutely no help...to the driver.

As part of my research of pop culture, I signed up for a website called Buzznet.

Everything was going great on Buzznet. I was making friends with hundreds of cute scene girls from ALL OVER THE WORLD, scene girls like Kaitlyn Snow, from Estonia. I was learning about hip new pop culture like the upcoming Twilight graphic novel. You know, for the people that don't want to read all the words, but don't like moving picture shows. I even found out the name of My Chemical Romance's lead singer: it's Gerard.

BUT THEN! I came across Sam VIP, and I had my breath taken away... far far away.

Based on everything I have learned about pop culture in the last couple of weeks, I am pretty sure that Sam VIP will soon be the next big thing. She is like a combination between Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, and Claire Danes.

Am I RIGHT? This girl is special!  She is a special girl... really special.