Aldous Snow and Infant Sorrow perform their inspirational song from the upcoming film, Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

There is no one better equipped to take care of a cat than a single white male aka, an engineer.

Jack White is pissed he didn't think of this.

For eight thousand dollars you can spend another 30 minutes sitting on your couch watching reruns.

Wanna scare the baby Jesus out of your friends? All you have to do is wipe the frosting off this window to get a very special Christmas present.

In theaters 3-7-08. A couple that have separated are each attempting to pick up the threads of a future when they are dealt a further blow that leads to a dark conclusion. And a somewhat-nerdy young man in the throes of discovering a first romance must also deal with the separation and consequent strife of his parents' failed relationship.

After attending a Kennedy Center gala, the White House realized someone had stolen several yards of curtains from the Oval Office.

Decent Photoshop or white trash soup kitchen? Hmm Olive Garden sounds really appetizing all of a sudden.

… because we can’t let the terrorists win.

Awww dressed up like Snow White, rabies all of a sudden isn't so scary.

In theaters 2-15-08. A family settles into its vacation home, which happens to be the next stop for a pair of young, articulate, white-gloved serial killers on an excursion through the neighborhood.

Someone left Dina Lohan in the dryer too long and she done shrunked. 3 feet or not, she still plans on furiously ruining her daughters life.

Are you as revolted by the Meg White Sex Tape as this reporter is? We hope so.

Lindsay Lohan has either been working out in rehab, or hiding coke in her trunk. Skinny drug addict white girls don’t have butts like this. We smell trouble!

Brits will pay $1,500 for a new sport stiletto designed by failed artists at Fisher Price. Designed for the Socialite on the go, this shoe is sure to scream "Special Olympics".

Heidi Montag took the form of a great white shark and nearly swallowed her Hills arch enemy LC. Unfortunately, neither was injured.

A parody of Chocolate Rain, shot-for-shot. Totally unnecessary, but that's what the internet is for, really.

White water rafting with a cat can be dangerous. And not just because of the claws!

Sisley's new controversial ad campaign features skinny models with their eyes rolled back, snorting "lines" off a white dress. Apparently spelling "fashion" like "heroin" is also chic, now.

Ice Cube's wife Coco has a body that defies all logic. Behold, her white girl badonkadonk!!