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You guys have no idea how much money we paid for this photo of Tiger Woods. We've been working with TMZ, X17Online, Jason Bourne and none of them were able to get this EXCLUSIVE picture of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating. All of those websites suck. How did we get this picture? Don't ask because it involves the shady transfer of monies between shady people and other things we don't want to talk about (okay, we promised the photographer a signed picture of Edward Cullen!). Here it is: the totally not fake first photo of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating.
Slim Fit Commercial
If you're looking to get skinny, try a Slim Suit. And than after that doesn't work, try Crystal Meth!
Dove Pro-fatty Propaganda
Unilever, Dove's parent company, also produces Slim-Fast and Ben & Jerry's. Which is it, fat is beautiful or ugly?
Mary-Kate Oldson
Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!
Beef Jerky Babe
Wow, nothing says sexy like a surgary brown tan and thigh muscles so strong, she could crack your head open. Snap into a slim Jim!
Slim Goodbody
Slim's the man with a plan that don't got no hand. Actually, he doesn't have skin. But that doesn't rhyme as well.
