Get away you short little Oompa Loompa people. This is MY bench.

Why is Lohan dressed like a civilian from some Orwellian novel? Those silver shorts are mighty dykish looking. Shame, you know better.

Someone build these two bastards from the ground up out of legos and lonely Sunday nights. Pretty impressive if you ask us, but you didn’t… so we will shut up.

Ok, so apparently that is a man, not a short gnome woman. Whatever the case, it’s a pretty sad day in hell when a short dyke looking guy is better looking than you are. Sucks to be Brooke.

Jesus could walk on water, so what? We have yet to see a picture of Jesus performing any miracles while rocking a cool pair of board shorts.

This is the height of efficiency. There is nothing, short of giving birth, that could better demonstrate a complete control of time management.

Verne Troyer spent the weekend in Toronto getting shorter and fatter by doing as little exercise as possible. Yeah.. We know he is short, but he is a midget, not a paraplegic!

What kind of coach would stick his hands down your shorts during a team picture!? … and where would one go to sign up for such a team?

Add ukulele to the short list of ways to make Britney's music tolerable again.

PingPing, the world's shortest adult got to meet Bao Xishun, the world's tallest man. Then they made sweet, sweet love.

SNL spoofs the OC's horrifyingly bad final episode – and actually makes it worth seeing. Featuring "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap, also heard on the Liquid Generation radio show!

DER!!! DER DER DERRRRRRR! Jessica annoying to ride next to on the short bus.

Call us cruel, but we love it when some jackass is screwing around and gets the short end of fate's stick. Especially when they're dumb white kids from the 'burbs and they're screwing around in their buddy's crappy Accord.

Thank god she's back to her skanky roots.

Short textAutodrone are a four-piece from New York who usually play with much louder guitars, but were willing to come by our studios and strip it down for us. The result was a much different sound than that found on their debut record, Panic.

Someone's shirt is too darn short! Everybody wins!

More fun than Virgin Air! (Just don't tell the pilot to eat your shorts.)

Short text$3,625 a month for rent? Jeez, K-dawg, where were you staying?

Short textParis really knows how to dance -- and act like a drunk, pantsless whore!

Glass floor, short skirts -- why can't all Twister games be like this?