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American Apparel just ended their Best Bottom In The World contest; you can see the top three butts right here. There were over a thousand entries, and the winner will be flown to LA for a special photoshoot, but if their really lucky they'll probably be sexual harrassed by CEO Dov Charney (yippee!)!
This competition is a little crazy. I mean, forget about the Top 3 Best Butts...here are the Top 20. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is wrong with any of these or how one can be better than the other. They all look the same and by "same" I mean I would shoot a dozen puppies just to see them in person. Don't believe me? Just try it, ladies! Come to my office and see what will happen!

But what about the big time losers in this contest? Did anybody really submit a butt that wasn't attractive? I clicked my mouse over a hundred times to find out.
THE TOP 5 UGLIEST BUTTS IN THE WORLD
Now, there were a bunch of people with scores of zero. We're not going to count those because they probably entered the contest late and their butts are just too nice to be losers, so we suspect there is a glitch in The Matrix. We just took the lowest of the scores that weren't 0.0. Here's what we found.
5. Carlos. Score: 1.24

Why did they let dudes enter this contest? A major fail on the part of the organizers. Plus, his photo is in black & white. Fail on top of Fail.
4. Alisa. Score: 1.22

I'm not sure where the ass is on this lady, or if it's really a lady. It could be a dude like Carlos. I don't really want to investigate any further.
3. JL. Score: 1.21

Hairy legs! A Sure winner we tell you (maybe in Afghanistan)!
2. Shyla. Score: 1.19

Am I missing something? Where is this lady's butt? Did it fall off on her way to the meth lab? I really want to know as to avoid the town she live in.
And the #1 Ugliest Butt In The World....
1. Raggedy. Score: 1.17

There is no cottage cheese in this woman's butt. It's pure milkshake. 2%. And thank God she's wearing black underwear. We don't really want to know what's happening behind that bikini.
If you've ever traveled the internet you've surely run into your share of weird Japanese game shows and porn, but what about this? What about the take-a-picture-that-looks-like-you're-eating-your-cat fetish? It's new! It's exciting! It's adorable! Don't forget delicious! The girl who looks like she's eating the cat's behind? We have no idea what that's about, though.

We wish we were as smart as this baby. We always fall for the wrong "lady."
This baby is smart. We always fall for the "lady" with the nice boobs.
Are you into feet? Stuffed animals? Monkeys? Well take this quiz and we'll tell you what your sexual fetish is!
Is this really what daytime television looks like now? Should Mom really be watching this while she fixes dinner?
Tony Romo, there is no way to have blue-icing make outs and a respectable NFL career, it's just not possible.
Paula had just the right mix of Xanax, Prozac and Jack in her Coke last night.
Getting BBWs from Craigslist and showing their homemade fetish movies on national television is out of control. WhatWouldOprahDo?
There is something sexual about a man in a nice pair of pumps. Am I the only one who thinks so?
This is a new form of sexual role play, known as boy torture. It looks like a blond Xena has taken over a small village of Cambodian farmers.
Sexual thoughts aside… what's with the blue outfit? There isn't much sexy about screwing a zip lock bag.
This commercial is an exact copy of how a 16-year-old boy's mind works; EVERYTHING implies sex.
Is it sad when an ad for condoms, depicting a sexual act, physically arouses you? Not that we have that problem...So what are you doing tonight? Please come back…
This week Lou Berk sits down with Britney Spears’ mom, who allegedly had a sexual affair with Kevin Federline.
Russia is saying these dolls were imported from China to confuse the sexual identity of Russian's youth. On a side note, all of Russia came out of the closet today.
Samwell is a dance music "artist" whose sexual preferences tend to lean towards being very, very, very gay. Real gay.
This informative film reel will teach you everything you need to know about the DOs and DO NOT DOs of Sexual Harassment.