This guy is going to get so much ass tonight! Oh, he just threw up on himself? LIGHTNING ROUND!

Weather men are often overlooked as the newsworthy sex gods they are. That being said, we feel sorry for Pennsylvania. According to jumbo here they are in for a sticky weekend.

We beer sex pizza mile high nachos this commercial very much.

This commercial is an exact copy of how a 16-year-old boy's mind works; EVERYTHING implies sex.

With Sex and the City coming to HD DVD, everyone will be able to bask in the gloriousness that is the petrified face of Sarah Jessica Parker.

Lord! Its like 300 lbs of all beef hotness broiled over a bed of sex! Those vaguely human features, coupled with those tumor ridden arms is pure hotness.

Adrian was not only the coolest red head on the block, but he was a bona fide sith lord. With his trusty lightsaber in hand, he was guaranteed to fend off any unwanted vaginal advances.

Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.

On set of the new Sex in the City movie, Kim Cattrall is heavily marinated in WD40, allowing her to move properly. Being covered in foreign substances is something her character knows all too well.

Are you as revolted by the Meg White Sex Tape as this reporter is? We hope so.

In theaters 10-5-07. Watch this hillarious scene with Ben Stiller and his father, Jerry Stiller, as they argue about a pair of panties they found on the street.

You think you know sex? You don’t know sex like these two do. Why are you still looking at this picture, you are sick.

This one time at band camp, there was like sex everywhere. The G note was doing the A from behind. And the B-flat was blowing C.

Is it sad when an ad for condoms, depicting a sexual act, physically arouses you? Not that we have that problem...So what are you doing tonight? Please come back…

Leaving her Hotel room this week, Madonna was spotted walking out with a Sex Toy. Now we know Guy Ritchie can satisfy neither his wife or film critics.

Ice T must have sex with plastic "love" dolls, because that is apparently his type. This is not even realistic, Photoshop much?

This new poster from the ACLU advocates equality for all people and all relationships. Crazy liberals and their manatee fantasies!

Nothing beats asking the weatherman, in his sandals, to help act out sex solicitation before Law & Order can beat you to the punch. Everybody pile on Senator Craig!

These new shoes have GPS tracking systems and are able to call a pimp or a sex worker advocates group, in the event of an emergency… seriously… no joke.

Hayden from Heroes just turned 18, and Lou Berk grills her about allegations of drinking, drugs, and wild sex!