Jamie Lynn has taken it upon herself to go on the web and research what it will be like to be pregnant and have a baby. It's gross!

After Britney Spears ditched out on yet another custody hearing, she went to church! Has Britney finally found The Jesus!

If you were to look into a Britney Spears crystal ball it most likely would show this. Everyone knows Oompa Loompas are more supportive than Lynne Spears.

This little toy will have to substitute for Mommy Spears for a while, at least it will remind the kids why it is a good thing she's gone.

In this award-deserving series, you have to guess whether you’re looking at a porn star or pop star. And yes, Britney Spears is both.

Jamie Lynn Spears has gotten herself all preggers! We do not need any more Spears children in this world!

Sean Connery wishes Alex a speedy recovery.

This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.

This week Britney has ADD, Lindsay Lohan's dad has a noonie, and the writers strike...gold!

Britney Spears ran across the western hemisphere, crushing several small villages and leaving massive footprints in her wake.

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

Britney Spears forgot, once again, to wear clothes big enough to cover her saggy saddlebags. Someone buy this girl a tent or a few yards of cloth.

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

Britney Spears finally got her Drivers License. Ever the money hungry entrepreneur, she had Cheetos sponsor her "fun run" through the driving test. As seen on http://prettyontheoutside.com

Britney Spears attempts to sell greedy consumers more useless crap, this time taking the form of her own perfume. We don't plan on speaking for everyone, but what woman wants to smell like Kevin Federline's crotch and Papst Blue Ribbon?

Wow you guys, only in our wildest dreams could we afford such a nice dress and beautiful hair extensions. Having such a dress allows for quick toilet use, sans the hassle of cleanup.

The horrendous atrocity that was the Britney Spears VMA performance can be summed up in this one image. Priceless.

Britney Spears is a witch. Only a level 8 Warlock with melee skills can change their eye color, its called a glamour. Look it up NEWB!

Seriously, someone just needs to take this poor girl aside and euthanize her. Was their a shortage of classy dresses in her trailer? Is she trying to turn guys gay? WHY GOD WHY!?

Britney Spears proves that she can leave the house without looking like a Hurricane Katrina victim.