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Announcing The Next Michael Jackson

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 09 2009, 12:35 PM

Folks, we've been blessed with another Michael Jackson. Kinda. Here's a before and after of alledged steroid abuser/baseball player Sammy Sosa. Now we have no idea whether he bleaches his skin or has that crazy vitiglio disease, but we DO KNOW that his face looks squishy like a Madball. AMMIIRITTTTE GUYS?

 

 

World's Greatest Slip n Slide

World's Greatest Slip n Slide

Sure beats an above ground pool, that's for sure.

 

Mariah Married Wild 'N Out

Mariah Married Wild 'N Out

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

 

Jessica Simpson Hates Dallas

Jessica Simpson Hates Dallas

Most of Texas blames Jessica Simpson for the Cowboys demise and wearing their hat before the Super Bowl is salt in the wounds.

 

Glow in the dark pussy cats

Glow in the dark pussy cats

Scientists in South Korea have so much free time, they have managed to clone glow in the dark cats. Now they can fight off the flying monkeys from N. Korea.

 

Justice "D.A.N.C.E." Supergroup

Justice "D.A.N.C.E." Supergroup

Michael Jackson, Rick James, Prince, Stevie Wonder, and Rod Stewart impersonators were pulled from Hollywood Blvd. to perform on Jimmy Kimmel.

 

Starbucks Eats Children

Starbucks Eats Children

Ocean waves, salt and magic somehow combined to unleash a massive wave of foam on an Australian beach. Completely unrelated, Hollywood plans new movie, "The Foam".

 

Bowling With Babies

Bowling With Babies

Slip 'n Slide's are universally acknowledged as unsafe. This hillbilly ignored common sense and threw his babies like he's trying to get a 7-10 split.

 

Bill Hicks Pwns Hecklers

Bill Hicks Pwns Hecklers

Some argued that Michael Richards' infamous N-word debacle was an attempt at humiliating a heckler, gone terribly awry. The comedic master Bill Hicks (RIP) shows how it's *really* done.

 

Scared S#!tless

Scared S#!tless

Note to self: Next time, don't eat massive bean 'n' cheese burrito before bungee jump. Got it.

 

Live: Mando Diao-Long Before Rock n Roll

Live: Mando Diao-Long Before Rock n Roll

Mando Diao have been a favorite here at LG for some time now. We actually had a bunch of people from the office head out to the Troubadour to see them live last month. Needless to say we were all pretty psyched when the band stopped by for a session, and they didn’t disappoint. Here’s the first of three songs they played from their new record Ode to Ochrasy.

 

MelaKnee Griffith: She's Old 'n' Nasty

MelaKnee Griffith: She's Old 'n' Nasty

At a mere 49 Melanie Griffith is sagging in all the wrong places (because there are *right* places to sag) and her knees aren't making her look any younger.

 

Salt Soundwaves

Salt Soundwaves

What happens when you pour salt on a speaker, and change the frequency? You can visualize the sound waves! Science is awesome!

 

Men v. Women: at the Mall

Men v. Women: at the Mall

This diagram is completely scientifical 'n' stuff.

 

Lance Bass Sings "The Gay Me"

Lance Bass Sings "The Gay Me"

‘N Sync’s Lance Bass is finally out of closet! Watch Lance celebrate his gayness with his parody of the Gnarls Barkley song “Crazy.” It’s a gay-tastically awesome time!

 

Whorizon Wireless

Whorizon Wireless

There’s a certain cell phone company that starts with a “V” and ends with an “N” – they have the most annoying spokesperson ever!!!

 

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