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What to Give For Christmas This Year

By: Tom L
December 13 2010, 1:23 PM

Christmas is about to sneak up on us again. When I doubt my gift selecting ability, I turn to tradition as a guide, ensuring that my gifts will adhere to the good, honest, decent American values that made this country, and the show Mad Men, great. That's why this year, I'll be giving Camel cigarettes. Former President Reagan's endorsement notwithstanding, I was initially skeptical of cigarettes as a gift, since they get so much bad press, but that was before I found out that more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette. So Merry Christmas everyone! Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

 

 

Nancy Reagan and Mr. T's Christmas

Nancy Reagan and Mr. T's Christmas

I wish all Holiday seasons were filled with this much love.

 

Ronald McDonald Seizures

Ronald McDonald Seizures

This is what it takes to make a Japanese person want to eat a Big Mac.

 

Southland Tales Trailer

Southland Tales Trailer

In theaters 11-9-07. Southland Tales is an ensemble piece set in the futuristic landscape of Los Angeles on July 4, 2008, as it stands on the brink of social, economic and environmental disaster. Boxer Santaros is an action star who's stricken with amnesia. His life intertwines with Krysta Now, an adult film star developing her own reality television project, and Ronald Taverner, a Hermosa Beach police officer who holds the key to a vast conspiracy.

 

I'm Lovin' It!

I'm Lovin' It!

A stolen Ronald McDonald statue head + hookah parts = phattest American bong ever!

 

Ronald McDavid

Ronald McDavid

This is even better than the picture of the naked guy painted to look like Spiderman. Yeah, that guy was creepy.

 

Who's the Real Hamburglar?

Who's the Real Hamburglar?

Ronald McDonald gets arrested for molesting a Happy Meal. How sad.

 

Ronald Reads Porn

Ronald Reads Porn

Would you like some porn with your Big Mac?

 

Ronald McDonald is a Murderer

Ronald McDonald is a Murderer

Ah, so that's the secret sauce on those McRibs!

 

Mascot or McDonaldLand Citizen

Mascot or McDonaldLand Citizen

Smack us with a Big Mac. We get our baseball mascots and friends of Ronald McDonald mixed up ALL the time.

 

Homeless Ron

Homeless Ron

After McDonald's stock took a dive, some employees were fired. Including Ronald McDonald himself.