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With the recent attempt by Amtrak to cause a riot aboard a Baltimore to Philadelphia train, I thought this would be a good time to compare U.S. train travel to that of Japan. After drawing up a table of comparisons, I realized I was wasting my time. I think these two pictures carry the message.
Japan:

United States:


Hugh Hefner. The dude has obviously gone off the rails. During the last season of Girls Next Door we could kind of see that he was losing it, but this just confirms everything. Sure, she looks decent on this cover, but what will you find once you open up those pages? Our guess is after the jump.
We totally would have thrown the girl over the railing. But that's just us.
We'd love to skateboard on this if only to a rim job of the rails on a half pipe. (wait...we're trying to talk Sk8r. Did that make any sense?)
Sexy rails outside of a prostitutes house, or Dr Ruth's office? You are not even reading this are you? Pervert.
Nice job, Kate, drop the booger sugar on your black jeans. Oh, wait... maybe you weren't blowing rails? What could you have been up to in that club??