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Ball Busting Vids Will Make You Impotent

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 09 2009, 3:31 PM

If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.

Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.

 

Reporter takes a dive. Woops.

 

We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.

 

This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.

 

Finally, these guys are true friends.

 

 

Potty Mouth Ninja: Enter the Pirate

Potty Mouth Ninja: Enter the Pirate

LG’s hot new puzzle game! Help the Potty Mouth Ninja collect some coins so he can get an Asian massage. But beware of the Ninja’s sworn enemy… THE PIRATE!

 

Unicorns & Hand Grenades

Unicorns & Hand Grenades

Put a stop to all the Unicorn love going around on the Internet, and toss a grenade into the mouth of one of these pretty, magical beasts.

 

Gossip Girls Are Trying to Tell Us Something

Gossip Girls Are Trying to Tell Us Something

We're not sure what these Rolling Stone magazines photos of a couple Gossip Girls is trying to infer here...they like licking ice cream? Candy? They like things in their mouths!?! What? We totally don't get this.

 

Fugly Face Quotes

Fugly Face Quotes

These quotes came out of the mouths of people who deserve to die because they are ugly.

 
 

Avril's Sk8r Bikini

Avril's Sk8r Bikini

It doesn't have to be so complicated if you promise to keep your mouth shut and and a bikini on.

 

Brittany Murphy Gets Wii Fit

Brittany Murphy Gets Wii Fit

This picture was made for Perez Hilton's automated draw splooge around the mouth machine.

 

Bird Poops in Mouth

Bird Poops in Mouth

When reporting on bird over population, always look directly up with your mouth wide open. That's where the real story is.

 

Glittery Poop

Glittery Poop

Gold Pills that are guaranteed to improve your "self worth" and make your "down under mouth" produce golden fecal-ness.

 

Megan Fox loves Crotch

Megan Fox loves Crotch

Brian Austin Green had his crotch fondled by Megan Fox. Looks like she had a whole other kind of turkey in her mouth this weekend.

 

High School Karma

High School Karma

This interview of Vanessa Hudgens aired yesterday on the Tyra Banks show. The irony of what comes out of the amateur nude model's mouth is amazing.

 

Harry Potter Shocks Hermione

Harry Potter Shocks Hermione

Daniel Radcliffe's recent photoshoot as a leather daddy left Emma Watson's mouth agape! Wow, Harry Potter gets pornier day by day!

 

Quentin Tarantino Licks Toes

Quentin Tarantino Licks Toes

The Grindhouse auteur got his shrimping on at a night club when some hot-footed hussy seduced his mouth with her toes. Goddamm I'm gonna hurl.

 

Skin Head Mug Shot

Skin Head Mug Shot

Curtis Allgier's face and neck tattoos include various decorative swasticas, "skin head" or his brow, F.U.N. on his chin, SS bolts on his cheeks, a crucifix, "Property of Jolene" on his forehead, a Doc Martin boot on his nose, and the "Hatebreed" logo above his mouth.

 

Amy Outhouse

Amy Outhouse

For some god-awful reason, someone had the idea to promote Amy Winehouse by wrapping a couple port-a-potties with her likeness. The obvious connections have been made.

 

The Stupid Celebrity Quote Game

The Stupid Celebrity Quote Game

They can act, they can sing, but most of the time, they have no idea how to talk. It’s amazing how celebrities let the most insane things come out of their mouths!

 

Birth of a Face

Birth of a Face

It always hurts when you have a face coming out of your mouth. But then again, who cares?

 

Transformers Go Wamp Wamp!

Transformers Go Wamp Wamp!

Break out your glock and put a mouth in your sock. Here’s a rap song featuring The Transformers, the baddest bots in Compton.

 

Goldie Hawn is OLD

Goldie Hawn is OLD

Liver spots? Check. Bags under the eyes? Check. Sagging mouth? Check. Creepy old lady neck? Check. Looks like Goldie Hawn should be CHECKing in at her plastic surgeon!

 

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