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Russian girls don't fantasize about just being any princess, they dream about being a princess that will someday marry a piece of poo. Apparently.

In the wild, tigers attack their enemies. In captivity, they rely on other, more disgusting methods of self-defense.
Ashley Olsen was hangin' out in just a bra and panties... then we caught her taking a cartoon poo! Ew, gross!
Master Poo Poo Platter is probably the coolest kung fu master since Mister Miyagi.