It doesn't even make sense to hate Clooney these days because you will never topple his ability to score the greatest looking females on the planet. Just accept it and move on. We've been studying Buddhism, dudes. You can stare at Elisabetta Canalis forever if you want to. But for us, it's time to chillax. Later.

Adam Lambert uses more coverup than every tranny on the earth combined.

See what happens when scientists from the Planet Shaka Khan perform their tests on Hollywood Legend Tom Cruise. The results are shocking, strange, and morally wrong.

Celebrate Earth Day by despising a bunch of hippies who cry over dead trees.

By smoking a joint, what did you expect her to plant a tree and drive a hybrid?

The song "You Are So Beautiful" is so sweet and romantic, until you use it to score your nightmare horror show of a commercial from Planet Hell.

We can't figure out why the paparazzi would take a picture of Jeff Goldblum taking his shirt off and it looks like Jeff is wondering the same thing himself. Maybe it was a "Earth Girls Are Easy" fan.

Find the difference between two photos and SAVE THE PLANET. Okay, not really.

From William Goldman to Diablo Cody you've come a long way screenwriters. How on Earth did you get studios to pay you when she is the "best" of the year?

The environment needs saving and that lazy Captain Planet isn't doing crap about it! So here come the MIT green cars… aww how cute.

Don't worry everyone, that's biofuel she is using. The Earth will be fine.

Ecologists' and green enthusiasts have developed a earth friendly habitat that hangs softly from the trees, connecting you to nature. You know what else hangs? Dez Nuts.

Let's see how much you know about the creepiest guy on the planet since David Guest!

Pluto must have been kicked in the crotch one too many times and decided to run down this little brat. So much for "happiest place on Earth".

How much do you want to bet that alcohol just never worked for this guy? He then turned to hypnosis and found Earth girls are easy.

Dear lord Michelle Marsh is running topless down the beach. If it were nearly any other woman on the planet, save Star Jones, it would be hot. But those "fun"-bags are like sacks of wet meat your step-dad is about to slug you with.

There is sadness on Planet Unicorn – but it's a good thing!

A gay boy wished for a planet full of unicorns – Planet Unicorn – unicorn planet!

He's the foxiest little double-agent on the planet! It's 00!

The Japanese are truly the greatest people on Earth!