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Baby Goat
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When Someone Says Pull Over
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Another First
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Bar Fight
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Insane Bike Race
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Old Russian Man
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Cat Mistake
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Sexy Flexible Girl
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Color Vision Deficiency
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Birth to 10 in 85 Seconds
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When I was asked to write for Liquid Generation, my first though was, "Yes!" My second thought was, "What the F am I going to write about that people are going to care about?" I have no idea what is going on in the world, and I'm sure that you, the LG reader, don't want to hear about my mom making hats, my roommate Kate eating all my potato chips, or my inability to feel... anything... in my heart... I am dead inside...
So what did I do?
I did some research. I turned to THE source for mainstream pop culture here in the United States of America, M Magazine. Guess what. I was not disappointed.
Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin). Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.
Okay, you got me. It's not an article. It's an ad for Tampax tampons, the most ridiculous ad for tampons I have ever seen, and completely indicative of the kind of slovenly work that is being done in every corner of print media - people all around are doing crappy jobs.
I couldn't find out exactly how much Serena is getting paid to endorse Tampax, but taking into account how much she has been paid for other endorsement deals, it is probably somewhere in the area of $3 million. The photographer who shot this ad probably made at least a couple of grand for a couple hours work. The art director's copy editors, and everyone involved made a good amount of money from putting this ad together, yet they picked the photo that looks like Serena is squeezing out a fart, not celebrating victory.
Maybe it was all Serena's fault. Maybe she never gave them the right look.
All I am saying is that if you paid me $3 million, I would start using tampons, I would make the right face in the photo shoot, and I could probably even take the picture myself... I have a camera with a timer on it.
Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!
Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon this sweaty, balding dude and his frumpy, snaggle-toothed wife. They are going to make a porno together. From the UK Sun:
Lisa Brand and Tommy Barnes have earned £1,300 from three X-rated movies and plan to make four more to raise cash for a beach ceremony in Cancun, Mexico, next June.
The pair, who have four children, have played a photographer and lingerie model who strip for a romp, and also appeared in a threesome.
Lisa, 34, even dripped hot wax on Tommy's chest at a motorway service station hotel to recreate a scene from Madonna's 1993 movie Body of Evidence.
She also spanked him with a paddle. She said: "I was laughing my head off.
"I have told my mum and most of my friends. They understand. It's always been our dream to have a fairytale wedding."
Tommy, 36, added at Macclesfield, Cheshire: "It's our five minutes of fame - something to look back on whe we're older. It has brought us closer together."
Yeah, Tommy. Five minutes of fame and LETTING THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW that your wife is in desperate need of some teeth whitening and Invisalign. REAL SMART.
You guys have no idea how much money we paid for this photo of Tiger Woods. We've been working with TMZ, X17Online, Jason Bourne and none of them were able to get this EXCLUSIVE picture of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating. All of those websites suck. How did we get this picture? Don't ask because it involves the shady transfer of monies between shady people and other things we don't want to talk about (okay, we promised the photographer a signed picture of Edward Cullen!). Here it is: the totally not fake first photo of Tiger Woods post-ass-beating.
Commentary on a Southern Wedding
If you're getting married, you and your wedding photographer might want to watch this for the tips!
Blake Lively Doesn't Want You Staring At Her
Photographers should really respect the "no boob zone."
Kim Kardashian Will Porc-U
Kim Kardashian gets on her knees and puts her butt in the air and you take a picture of her from the front?!?! For shame Mr. Photographer, for shame.
Hayden Panettiere's Vibrator
Perez Hilton tried to trick the world into thinking Hayden Pe-something was caught by photographers with a vibrator. I suppose he assumed no one would check the internets. Loser.
Britney in the Window
Britney is just looking freaky these days… here she is checking out the scene of photographers outside.
Britney Umbrella Attack
Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!
Britney's Paparazzi Meltdown!
Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!
Britney Spears Attacks!
Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!
Britney Attacks a Photographer!
Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!
Britney's Rampage!
Britney attacked a paparazzi-mobile and hit a photographer in the back – with an umbrella!
Scandalous: Jennifer Lopez
Tony Paparazzi is one of the world's greatest celebrity photographers. In this edition Tony goes after J.Lo!
