At one time, Paris used a fake Ohio ID. The weirdest part? It lists her eyes as green, even though she has naturally brown eyes and wears blue contacts!

Here's a surprise: Paris Hilton likes to get trashed with friends. And then she likes to take pictures of herself.

Paris's prescription for Valtrax pretty much seals the deal on all those nasty herpes "rumors."

More from the Paris Exposed files! She even enjoys corrupting her boy-toy!

More from the Paris Exposed files! It's official: she's totally baked!

More from the Paris Exposed files! She smokes weed in what appears to be a public café.

More from the Paris Exposed files! She's loading up a pipe from her bag o' grass.

More from the Paris Exposed files! Here she smokes a bowl in an elevator that's clearly marked "NO SMOKING."

When you're the world's sluttiest heiress, you have to pose everywhere you are. Even in a tanning bed.

Never one to dissappoint, Paris was just hanging out one day… and she was REALLY hanging out! If you know what I mean! (And I think you do!)

Paris Hilton’s belongings! We’ve found’em! You’ll want them! And most all – you’ll want to have sex with them!

…And here's a diagrammed image to prove it!

Paris like the beach. She also likes flashing her slash at the paparazzi! Thank god it's covered this time.

Some of Paris Hilton's possessions were auctioned off, including hundreds of very private photos and, journals, and video. Here she is pretending to be clean. LIAR!

Jenna Jameson and Paris Hilton are pegged to host a new reality TV series that basically gets virgins laid. It's being made by the same guy that released the Paris Hilton sex tape, so you know it's gonna be classy.

I think she should just slap an eyepatch on that and get herself some pirate street-cred.

Even cartoons can have wonky eyes.

Paris Hilton donned this ensemble willingly. Shudder.

Paris doesn't wear bras, that part is certain.

Paris side-swiped some garbage cans at the end of her driveway, giving her brand-new $400,000 Bentley a few scratched and a mean dent. Let's see how the heiress reacts!