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I Can't Afford Gas

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I Can't Afford Gas
United States of Awesome

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PHOTOS

Paris' Oompa Loompa Brains

Paris' Oompa Loompa Brains
An average of 11 people per theater when to see Paris' new movie this weekend. Those people were tricked by her Oompa Loompa PR man.
2/11/2008

PHOTOS

Paris Feels Great

Paris Feels Great
Reports of Paris being a lesbian are false, she's only into her own lady bits.
2/8/2008

PHOTOS

Paris is Fila-ing Good

Paris is Fila-ing Good
Paris Hilton is modeling for Fila, their first major endorsement since Grant Hill in 1995. She looks as confused as us.
1/15/2008

GAMES

Whoose Boobs: Nerdy Boobs

Whoose Boobs: Nerdy Boobs
Whoose Boobs is the internet’s #1 celebrity boob game. We show you three boobs and you have to tell us who they belong to.
1/10/2008

NEWS

Britney And Paris Are Lesbians

Britney And Paris Are Lesbians
This week Britney, Paris and Jodie Foster get gay together, Scrooge McDuck is mistaken for Donald Trump and David Blaine is on drugs.
12/7/2007

NEWS

Paris Hilton's Easy-Nooj 2006

Paris Hilton's Easy-Nooj 2006
This week Britney Spears is knocked up, Tom Cruise is a Mommy, and Carson Daly is still a douche bag.
11/30/2007

PHOTOS

And you fail again…

And you fail again…
Oh Paris, that stunning shade of "Recently gave a blow job" red really accents your smile… and the fact that you're an idiot.
11/12/2007

PHOTOS

China Faces New Disease

China Faces New Disease
After months of China sending us all their ass backwards products, the US finally retaliated by sending over Paris Hilton, in a free container marked "Penis Enlargement Cream."
11/12/2007

PHOTOS

Paris Gets a New Pet

Paris Gets a New Pet
We are not quite sure what this is, but its somewhat cute and incapable of running away. The excellent pet for your favorite Socialite.
11/6/2007

PHOTOS

LG Comics: Celebrity High

LG Comics: Celebrity High
Donald Trump unveils his new reality TV show and Dakota Fanning just may drop by to say hello. Sources say, no one will care.
10/15/2007

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