Dear Helga,
I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?
Dear Tenner,
Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.
Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.
Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.
Love,
Helga
Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com
Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com
Or, better yet, get bent.

Introducing the lonliest man in the universe. His name is Edward A. Copernicus, and the last girlfriend he had was a special little female crayfish he found in the lake beside his parent's house. He courted her for weeks, and then he pulled out her legs one by one. Why? Because he's probably going to be a serial killer when he grows up and this is just what they do.
Shawtys, your man is waiting for you and he wants to take you to the movies.
If you're going to scare somebody, you might as well do it while wearing the cheesiest costume imaginable.
The Nintendo Wii has been out for how long now? Haven't we learned that if you're old and have a camera pointed at you, you should probably not being playing with the Wii? In these circumstances, you can never win.
Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.
That's what we love about these stoner movies, man, we watch them, but they're never remembered.
Britney Spears gets thrown into the good old LG torture chamber. Now you can give her a few burns and some broken bones to go along with that nasty c-section scar. Happy Birthday Britney!
What is she, like, 55-years-old now? Jennifer Aniston is still banging 35 years after Friends. This is a photo from her appearance this month in Elle Magazine.
Doesn't he look like that old chick from Driving Miss Daisy? Yes he does!
Here's a man who has never walked through an Automatic Door, and will probably never again.
Don't worry, after they dance it out, they hug it out and everything's okay.
Listen if you will to this man completely butchering one of the greatest songs ever recorded by a band with a drummer who has a silly name, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica.
We show you a picture of a beast of a man or man/woman and you have to guess which it is!
She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.
You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.
One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.
But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.
How To Cook A Turkey |
Views: 104436 |
Christian Side Hug |
Views: 3760 |
10 Sexiest Cinematic Bloodsuckers |
Views: 3558 |
Grape Lady Falls |
Views: 3391 |
Adorable Internet Starlet's Adorable Fail |
Views: 3121 |
Lady Gaga + Cartman + Walken = Mind Blown |
Views: 3011 |
112 Sneezes In A Minute |
Views: 2826 |
Pole Dance Makes Wedding Awesome |
Views: 2796 |
The Chicken Plucker 3000 |
Views: 2539 |
Lick My Lohan |
Views: 2516 |