Dear Helga,
I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?
Dear Tenner,
Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.
Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.
Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.
Love,
Helga
Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com
Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com
Or, better yet, get bent.
Introducing the lonliest man in the universe. His name is Edward A. Copernicus, and the last girlfriend he had was a special little female crayfish he found in the lake beside his parent's house. He courted her for weeks, and then he pulled out her legs one by one. Why? Because he's probably going to be a serial killer when he grows up and this is just what they do.
Bangs Takes U To Da Movies
Shawtys, your man is waiting for you and he wants to take you to the movies.
This Bat Man Is Awesome
If you're going to scare somebody, you might as well do it while wearing the cheesiest costume imaginable.
We Still Haven't Learned How To Play With Our Wii
The Nintendo Wii has been out for how long now? Haven't we learned that if you're old and have a camera pointed at you, you should probably not being playing with the Wii? In these circumstances, you can never win.
Christina Hendricks Marries Someone
Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.
10 Favorite Stoner Movies
That's what we love about these stoner movies, man, we watch them, but they're never remembered.
The Britney Spears Torture Chamber
Britney Spears gets thrown into the good old LG torture chamber. Now you can give her a few burns and some broken bones to go along with that nasty c-section scar. Happy Birthday Britney!
Hey Everyone, Jennifer Aniston Is Still Hot!
What is she, like, 55-years-old now? Jennifer Aniston is still banging 35 years after Friends. This is a photo from her appearance this month in Elle Magazine.
Steven Tyler Is Your Grandma
Doesn't he look like that old chick from Driving Miss Daisy? Yes he does!
Automatic Doors Are Confusing
Here's a man who has never walked through an Automatic Door, and will probably never again.
Dog vs. Man Dance Battle
Don't worry, after they dance it out, they hug it out and everything's okay.
Nothing Else Matters: Completely Butchered
Listen if you will to this man completely butchering one of the greatest songs ever recorded by a band with a drummer who has a silly name, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica.
Chick or Dude? Olympics Edition
We show you a picture of a beast of a man or man/woman and you have to guess which it is!
Jennifer Connelly Is Still Gawkable
She has to be around 55-years-old, but Jennifer Connelly is still very much a part of our imagination as we daydream about doing it with movie stars.
Why Is This Man Smiling?
You mean he didn't bang Alba? That's the only reason to be happy these days.
Harry Potter Almost Murders Japanese Girl with Adorableness
One man, especially one who is British, should never have so much power over a female. It's just unethical. Like, spread the wealth, dude. There are other guys who want girls to go crazy over them, too, ya know.
Pamela Anderson Is Only Getting Older
But really, who cares? Older chicks are awesome and if you don't realize that you're probably and idiot anyway.
DAILY TOP 10
-
How To Cook A Turkey
Views: 104436 -
Christian Side Hug
Views: 3760 -
10 Sexiest Cinematic Bloodsuckers
Views: 3558 -
Grape Lady Falls
Views: 3391 -
Adorable Internet Starlet's Adorable Fail
Views: 3121 -
Lady Gaga + Cartman + Walken = Mind Blown
Views: 3011 -
112 Sneezes In A Minute
Views: 2826 -
Pole Dance Makes Wedding Awesome
Views: 2796 -
The Chicken Plucker 3000
Views: 2539 -
Lick My Lohan
Views: 2516
