Thread cat has manic eyes.

Oh wow, this has got to be pretty uncomfortable. Of all the times to be dressing like a whore… bad timing.

"Oh lady you don't know what you have done here. I am going to eat the hell out of your shoes. Prepare yourself!"

This guy is going to get so much ass tonight! Oh, he just threw up on himself? LIGHTNING ROUND!

Hurry, hide in the closet. Don’t make a sound!

Heidi Montag is far from pretty and appears to have no arm in this picture. We personally hope Harrison Ford finds her and beats her down for killing his wife. Oh, and for making that face too.

This reporter got distracted by the image of boobs on the green screen. This is kind of the mature way you'd expect Adam Sandler to react.

Son where's your ice cream? "Well Louis C.K. stole it, ran away, and then...oh you'll never believe me..." I don't even believe the part about you knowing Louis C.K.

Fergie is now selling handbags that are apparently are made out of Kilts… and is that piss on her pants… again!? Oh no.. It's just sweat.

Bill Murray was arrested in Sweden this weekend for being under the influence while driving a golf cart. Oh Dr. Venkman!

I imagine this is what it's like when you reach the pearly gates. So close to perfection, but just far enough away to be out of reach. Oh, to dream.

Four girls posed for a hot MySpace booty shot. Look closely and you'll see the girl who will shoot them tomorrow after study hall.

Nothing is more precious than the face of a child… as she is screaming in horror. Oh children, truly a gift.

Hey Paula! You're not in the Bratz movie any more! What are you going to do about it, throw a tantrum? Pray to God? Oh. Awkward.

Cheeky Charles makes the moves on a lady soldier. Oh, behave!

Oh, wait, whoops – Hold on, can we start over???

Oh whoops, my bad – he's not a security guard, he's a pimp. A pimp in a uniform. That's London-style, for ya.

These emergency calls are hilarious! Except that now I've bled to death. Oh, can your taco save you now?

So all this time my enormous gut has been a defense mechanism? Oh, yeah, I totally did that on purpose.

Does someone hear the ice cream man? Yeah, he's over there – run! Hurry, run! Oh– O NOES! HE MELTED!