Remember those awesome shoes you had as a kid that all your friends were jealous of? Yeah, in retrospect those shoes really sucked.

This is what Europeans picture when they think of the American family.

See there's nothing wrong with drugs kids, just playing with some cats.

Oh, those kids, they sure know how to pose for a candid, uncontroversial photo...

In theaters now. Three kids hire a low-budget bodyguard to protect them from the playground bully.

Look at the things kids can accomplish when they don't have cable.

The rumors of a NKOTB reunion have caused many to dial their 1-900 numbah to rembah the time when they were wicked awesome.

You will inevitably feel creepy for looking at this picture of Hannah Montana, however, not as creepy as the kid who tried to hijack a plane and crash it into her concert yesterday. True Story!

Tara Reid will probably have kids soon to harvest their livers.

This little toy will have to substitute for Mommy Spears for a while, at least it will remind the kids why it is a good thing she's gone.

Adopted, we are assuming. Never the less sharing genetic intelligence. Look at those "slow" eyes.

That thing could suck you up and you would never be seen again. Now you know what Rosie's adopted kids feel like.

Don’t worry kids, it's just your father. Pretend that you're scared though, it will really make land sharks day.

In America, we have learned to have children without the need to raise them. This board game will further allow us to watch reality while leaving the kids busy!

This week Britney loses her kids, David Copperfield rapes somebody, and other important worldly events. Philip Norris has the latest!

This poor guy tattooed his wife and kids on his back only to find out she was cheating on him with a younger man. Maybe you can cover with face up with a kick ass rose!

In theaters 2-18-08. Based on the Steven Gould novel, "Jumper" follows a young man from a broken home who discovers that he has the ability to teleport. In his quest for the man he believes is responsible for the death of his mother, the kid draws the attention of the National Security Agency and another youth with the same abilities.

There is nothing worse than a stinky ass child. Don't let your child's off putting body odor further offend your senses, wrap that little bastard in pine fresh scents.

This week Philip Norris interviews Britney Spears’ kids! Are they drunk?

"Man kid, your face looks so funny, I bet your mom is ugly as hell. I can hear my eyes blinking and I am friggin hungry. Give me that damned cake!"