Boston.com outed all the celebrities who've had the Swine Flu, and good for them. These people need to be taken off the streets. They need to be banned from the public. I know these people are celebrities, and I know the entertainment they provide for hundreds of people across the world is important. But they need to stop...stop doing whatever they are doing. I'm talking about David Krejci and Chris Douglas-Roberts. I'm talking about that Rupert Grint. Landon Donovan, Brian Littrell, and that Melissa Rycroft, too. David Boreanaz, you're in our sights...
WAIT A MINUTE.
WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE? WHY THE HELL IS BOSTON.COM TRYING TO MAKE MY HEAD EXPLODE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE? EVEN RACHEL MADDOW AND DR. SANJAY GUPTA BARELY HIT MY RADAR BECAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO CNN AND MSNBC (Fox News all the way, baby!). YOU MEAN LADY GAGA IS NOT SICK!?! JON & KATE PLUS AND THEIR EIGHT LITTLE PIGGIES DON'T HAVE THE SNIFFLES YET!?! THANK YOU. THANK YOU, LORD. THANK YOU, SWEET EVERYBODY. BOSTON.COM, NEXT TIME YOU SEND AN ALERT OUT LIKE THIS MAKE SURE IT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT THE PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT BEFORE I GO ALL CAPLOCKS ON YOUR ASS AND HURT SOMEBODY.
/KTHXBAI
P.S. I can't wait for this movie to come out...
(via Boston.com)
Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.
(via Don Chavez)
If God was so smart, why did he design male genetalia to be 1) as low as it is and 2) totally unprotected. He gave turtles a hardshell and that animal is just about useless if you ask me. Humans created space shuttles, heavy metal music and Maury Povich. They should be protected, especially the itsty bitsy parts of them that makes babies. Such poor design decisions, God. If Steve Jobs was your boss you'd be totally fired.
Today, as Nancy Pelosi was walking somewhere and being important, a reporter following her totally crashed his balls into something that was not a Femaie Baby Incubator. Here's that video, and some others featuring guys who might not be able to get an erection anymore.
Reporter takes a dive. Woops.
We feel that the Japanese dudes featured in this video actually LOVE being hit in the crotch.
This guy's balls actually flew up through his stomach and out of his mouth, but you can't see it due to YouTube's crappy video quality.
Finally, these guys are true friends.
10 Triumphs of Modern Italian Horror
For such a small country, Italy has produced many of the modorn greats in horror. Not for the faint of heart, but definitely worth checking out.
Marisa Miller's Boobs Are Totally Rich
Here's Marisa wearing a 3 million dollar bra from Harlequin Fantasy Bra. Tell us: how did her boobs get so rich that they're able to afford such a luxury? I mean, all they do is just sit there and look awesome. Not fair!
We Still Haven't Learned How To Play With Our Wii
The Nintendo Wii has been out for how long now? Haven't we learned that if you're old and have a camera pointed at you, you should probably not being playing with the Wii? In these circumstances, you can never win.
Kush Support for Your Tatas
If you have big boobs, you might need to put something between them that gives them support. It's a great, totally sexy idea! Not really!
Scary Sexy
Halloween can be scary, but if you look at it in the right light it can also be scary sexy!
Marge Simpson Has Cartoon Boobies
We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.
Fat Kid In a Skate Bowl
Ugh. We identify too much with this. Too much. We are crying right now. Crying. We hope you, too, can feel his pain if you're not fat. Today, we're all fat kids.
Britney's Bikini Body Eludes Us
We look and look and look at this photo but we have NO idea whether or not she has gut. Are we blind? Or do we just expect our bikini guts these days to be as flat as flat can be? We're picking up a Victoria Secret catalog to find out.
Drunk Kings Dancers Rule
The Sacremento Kings dancers are being "disciplined" for getting drunk and taking sexy pics. And the NBA wonders why no one watches.
Human LCD
These South Korean soccer fans have serious skills...they managed to do this, not by holding up cards, but with their clothing.
Sex Scene or Murder Scene 3?
Here’s a game that not just any movie buff can play. This game requires serial killer instincts!
Christina Hendricks Marries Someone
Mad Men star Christina Hendricks married someone this weekend. Not this guy though; he's just somebody with a cool mustache. Anyway, this picture should remind you that her new husband is probably the luckiest man alive. So is mustache man for standing next to her.
Boob Match #4
There is not better way to celebrate the new year than match celebrities with their boobs.
10 Hints that Stewie is Gay
There's some strong evidence that Stewie may be gay. He may also a virgin until Fran, but these clips suggest Fran might not be his type.
Pig or People?
We show you a picture of a person or pig with tattoos and you have to guess which it is. Pigs are sexy!
DAILY TOP 10
-
How To Cook A Turkey
Views: 108494 -
Christian Side Hug
Views: 3792 -
10 Sexiest Cinematic Bloodsuckers
Views: 3478 -
Grape Lady Falls
Views: 3357 -
Adorable Internet Starlet's Adorable Fail
Views: 3119 -
Lady Gaga + Cartman + Walken = Mind Blown
Views: 3024 -
112 Sneezes In A Minute
Views: 2835 -
Pole Dance Makes Wedding Awesome
Views: 2796 -
The Chicken Plucker 3000
Views: 2537 -
Lick My Lohan
Views: 2422
