It's adorable now, but don't let him grow up to be another Nick Hogan.

Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon without a pre-nup, which means he presumably could steal this sweet Teen Choice Awards surfboard and like a bajillion dollars.

Former Backstreet Boy Nick, spent the weekend filming for a new music video. From the looks of this video, he had the liquid squirts.

Remember 98 Degrees?...We don't think Vanessa does either or else she wouldn't be getting naked in front of Nick.

"That's all I DO! All day, every DAY!" Starring Nick Swardson, from Reno 911.

Lindsay is in rehab and she needs an AA sponsor. Who does she call? Nick Nolte!

Rip Torn was arrested for drunken driving today in upstate New York. Take that, Nick Nolte's mugshot!!

Ali and Habib were two Middle Eastern goat farmers when the United States decided to occupy their tiny country. Now they’re running for president, but can they beat the hand selected candidate: Nick Nolte?

Aaron and Nick Carter fight like little b**ches, and we laugh at their pain. ...And their fake urban accents.

Nick Is Kids! …and Nostalgic, Childhood-Obsessed 20-somethings!

Nick is practically suicidal over Jessica Simpson – he’s gonna slit his wrists, then write a horrible song about it. Can you save him?

This week Jessica and Nick call it quits, President Bush gives a hilarious speech and Vince Vaughn is a drunk!

This is why Nick Lachey kicked Jessica Simpson to the curb. It's better to cut your losses when you're ahead. Or a dick.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.