The PMS Home Shopping Network has an exclusive offer on the new Jonas Brothers' Purity Ring! Now you can't get laid either!

We feel silly for using our own hands to wipe our ass all these years. If we knew the Comfort Wipe existed, our life would be so much more awesome and our hands would be a lot less smelly. And brown.

We reacted the same way when we saw the trailer for New Moon -- and we have man parts.

OMG! Adam Lambert might be dating Shia The Beef! We always new Adam was gay!

Normally we're against breast implants. But Bikini Girl's new boobs make her face look a lot less stupid, so we approve!

Real Housewife from New York cast member Kelly Bensimon has a boob job so bad the boobs are trying to hide for cover.

Here's Eminem's new video, where he makes fun of every celebrity that you love to hate.

Rihanna's new tattoo is a message to girls EVERYWHERE. What it's saying, we have no idea.

Kim Kardashian's is a Garbage Fail Kid! Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog!

We always new Chihuahuas were very sexual dogs.

Chris Brown's is a Garbage Fail Kid! Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog!

Somebody is a bit too eager to get a piece of Britney Spears' new body.

Check out the new Lindsay Lohan Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

For the ghetto minded.

Check out the new Michael Phelps Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Check out the new Jessica Simpson Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

Check out the new Rihanna Garbage Fail Kid. Collect all the new Garbage Fail Kids and post them on your blog! Come back for more week after week!

NFL athletes can't stay out of jail. Play our new game and see if you know who's afraid to drop the football in the shower.

Forget about Ashton Kutcher. Here’s a new prank show starring your favorite Transformer – Starscream! Oh yeah, and he might kill you.

Use these photos to inspire yourself to get thin this New Year!