The PMS Home Shopping Network has an exclusive offer on the new Jonas Brothers' Purity Ring! Now you can't get laid either!

Test media, please don't remove for some time

Watch this if you want to purchase a George W. Bush action figure. They snort fake cocaine!

Daniel Plainview would be the second best Food Network host behind Marc Summers.

Networks should seriously consider airing Japanese television during the strike. MXC is not enough.

Seriously? Where in the world is this a problem? Please tell us, we would like to know when traveling, which public transit network to avoid. Another thing… why are the other passengers just sitting there?

At a conservative political conference, the world's biggest tranny bitch, Ann Coulter, called John Edwards a bundle of sticks. The Fox network doesn't even care.

Classy network ESPN aired footage of Payton Manning dancing in a play as an 8th grader. You'll never look at pro quarterbacks the same again!

Fox News has a hilarious take on the Cartoon Network/Aqua Teen "bomb" scare.

Did the Food Network slip in subliminal ads for McDonald's during Iron Chef America? Crazy!

The Suck My News Network's Philip Norris interviews our favorite popstar Britney Spears.

The PMS Homeshopping Network has the perfect gift for that anorexic, alcoholic, or whore in every family. Buy one today.

The Suck My News Network's Philip Norris interviews that pimple-faced Brit Harry Potter.

The Suck My News Network's Philip Norris interviews that hilarious terrorist Osama bin Laden.