Unlike Heavy Metal Rooster techno chicken has the moves to kick your ass in a dancing circle.

Somebody found Epic Beard Man on the streets of SF and conducted a little interview with him. He might be a little crazy, but you can decide for yourself by watching the clip here.

And just so it's nailed into your head:

Our old friend Chuck McCarthy is on the hunt for a job, a job of chronic masturbation and full-time sadness at ChatRoulette.com. Here is his application video. I reached out to him to see if he got the job, but he was in the bathroom with his laptop, masturbating of course.

The response to the Epic Beard Man video on YouTube has reached "epic" proportions (get it!?!), so much so that YouTube has modified their comment system to help commenters better understand the type of things they should write in response to the fight video. The changes are highlighted below in the pretty red box and they seem to be working, check it out for yourself. Great job, YouTube!

By now you've seen the video of that AC Transit Bus Fight (in case you haven't, please watch it, as it is the best thing ever). Well now you can play the video game featuring the Epic Beard Man and the black dude, kinda.

Also, don't forget to buy your Epic Beard Man t-shirt and join his Facebook fanpage!

News Alert! Adolf Hitler is FINALLY on the internet and all he wants to do is MAKE A VIRAL VIDEO! YIPPE!!!!!!!!! Maybe he'll be just as famous as the Chocolate Rain guy!

So we don't usually post music videos here, but this one is just too insane to pass up. It a rap song that involves Ninjas, a cute girl on a bed, and a guy/creature we've seen on YouTube that gave us nightmares for days,. The band is called Die Antwoord and the song is "Enter The Ninja." Things don't get going till around the 1 minute mark, so make sure you stick around for the insanity.

In case you're just as confused as we are, here's an interview they did with Vice Magazine. It should clear everything or nothing up.

So you've finally seen the iPad and made a tampon joke or two about it. But if my gut is telling the truth, then we're all going to be dead when the people at Apple Corporate murder us with their lazer beam eyes. Seriously! Have you checked out that iPad video yet? Here are some stills:

Senior Vice President of Industrial Design Jonathan Ive is responsible for make the things at Apple pretty. However, his eyes can see through your underpants and shoot amazingly designed lazer beams at your face, so watch out.

After he's done eating all the meat on your bones, SVP of Hardware Bob Mansfield, will kidnap your 13-year-old nephew and try to play video games with him. Or he might appear in Crimson Tide 2 - SERIOUSLY GUYS, DOESN'T HE LOOK LIKE THAT ONE GUY? JUST A LITTLE BIT?

Scott Forstall, SVP of iPhone Software, will stare at you from across the room until you're completely naked. I kid you not. He will not leave until then.

Okay, stop looking at them. You know what I'm talking about. This is getting a little childish right now.

We have no idea what this lady is talking about here, but we just like watching her. We can put this video on repeat and just watch it FOR HOURS until the cops arrest us for being a loser.

There really is no way to prepare you for what you're about to see, so just watch this. It was sent to us via Chuck, who would like you to know that this is the type of porn he's really into these days. This and cute cat videos.

You know when you get really drunk and high from huffing spray paint (gold) out of a paper bag (brown) and you and your friends come up with the most AMAZING idea? These are the greatest ideas, right? Right?

What do you think would happen if for some reason you had access to all the elements and ingredients to make your ideas reality... Yeah and your grandparents owned some sweatshops where 12-year-olds slaved away making socks for the British Premier League, so you have a big trust fund. Basically, you have infinite resources. What do you think would happen?

Yeah, besides the first ever monkey, marshmallow go-cart champion being crowned, (Mr. Chattlebanks), because that's awesome.

What would happen?

You would make some pretty awful stuff, stuff that would amaze people on one level and one level only. Yeah, the "why-the-F-did-this-ever-get-made-and-who-thought-that-this-was-a-good-idea-were-they-high-on-gold-spray-paint?" level. You got it!

Oh, you want an example of this kind of idea brought to fruition?

How about this video where an underage white girl runway model, Karlie Kloss, claims to be from St. Luis and then plays ping pong with Notorious Wally Green?

Did that illustrate my point? Did I have a point?

I guess my point is that money is no substitute for talent and true genius, and neither is gold... spray paint.

P.S. JD Ferguson directed the above video. Is he the greatest director of our time?

Disclaimer: I did no research whatsoever into how this video actually came about, and I know nothing about JD Ferguson.

We really can't decide sometimes because everything about this video is full of WIN (and FAIL!).

Let me paint a picture of a man-boy, a legend in the making. This man-boy lives in the woods of the great northwest - Jack London territory - Twilight territory - Kurt Cobain land... you know, like around Seattle.

He lives like a James Bond-Goldilocks, sneaking into people's houses, stealing planes (he learned to fly from video games), stealing speedboats, using night vision goggles to hunt and live off the land, and supplementing his diet with pizza that he has delivered to the woods. Not too hot -not too cold - extra cheese and just right.

The painting of this legend gets bolder, more intricate with every detail, with every stroke of the brush, and I'm not done stroking.

Like Yogi Bear he doesn't wear shoes while snagging "pic-a-nic" baskets, but he isn't stopping at sandwiches, and Park Ranger Smith isn't the only one he is outsmarting. The police and FBI are hot on his trail for over 50 alleged burglaries. Did I mention that he likes to take "cheeky" pictures of himself with victims' digital cameras (in my book this means pictures of his penis wearing sunglasses)?

Who is this man-boy, this 18yr old legend in the making?

Have you heard of Colton Harris-Moore?  You just did. Oh, and Jason Bourne... GFY!

Watch the video below, and read these articles to find out more.

Now that you are on Team CHM (Facebook Fanpage alert!) and love him more than Jacob Black, would you pre-order a copy of his video game?

What would you call his video game?

What would you call his movie?

Do you think that Mercedes should be paying him for his endorsement?

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

Look, I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this, and yes, just like you, I think it's kinda creepy and weird, but I'm pretty sure Dakota Fanning and I are going to start dating soon.

I have never met D-Fan, but after reading her interview in M Magazine, I feel like I have known her my entire life, or at least her entire life. She likes arts and crafts like knitting, and I have an art degree. Plus, my mom likes to crochet, which is like knitting for people who you don't want to trust with two sharp metal objects. She is a cheerleader at her high school, and I went to high school. She is in the Twilight movie series, and I want to be in the last Twilight movie.

Okay, so those are all nice things to have in common, but you are probably saying to yourself, "Chuck, Dakota Fanning doesn't want to date you."

You're probably right. She probably doesn't want to date me.

GUESS WHAT. I don't want to date her either. I don't like blondes from No-Ho, and home schooled kids creep me out. I don't care if she isn't home schooled anymore (all information "dished" and "spilled" in the M Magazine article).

WE don't want to date each other, but...

...her parents, managers, agents, paparazzi, magazine publishers, Perez Hilton, and TMZ do (this is an curtailed list).

Everyone around her is itching for her to shed her little girl image and move into the role of leading lady sexpot. Just look at the latest cover of V Magazine. They are doing everything they can to turn her into the next Heather Graham. What do you think Hounddog was all about, or her playing an all powerful evil force to be reckoned with in the Twilight movies? But, it's just not working, and they are scrambling for options. Miley Cyrus has already pulled the showing a little skin for Vanity Fair stunt. She can't "accidently" send naked pictures of herself to the press like those other Disney girls, or do a porn like Paris Hilton, because she is still underage, and her parents could face some serious jail time for something like that.

What's left?

Dating an older man... a much older man. A man of mystery... Someone who would really have people asking why... no really, why?

Who is that man? Me.

If she started dating Josh Duhamel, Josh Hartnett, or even Josh Groban, people wouldn't be all that shocked or interested. They would be interested, and a little disturbed by the age difference, but Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise didn't catch that much scrutiny over their ages. They are both famous and good looking, but imagine what kind of media hell storm would erupt if I started dating Tom Cruise... I mean D-Fan.

Things I couldn't figure out how to work into this blog post but I really wanted to:

1.D-Fan once played a young Ellen Degeneress.

2. Dakota is next to Montana.

3. D-Fan might be a C-Fan someday, keep reading M Magazine for the scooped spilled dishes.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

In my quest for pop culture knowledge, I watched the first episode of this season' American Idol.

What do I have to report?

You are going to see lots of tummies this Spring. If Celebrity Rehab (just watched a clip online) has taught us anything, it's that you don't have to be a winner to be a trend setter. I might not be in touch, but I do have somewhat of an erie talent for trend spotting, and if my senses are on the money, Janet McNamara is going to really leave her belly print on the halls and bathrooms of fashion this Spring and Fall. Over the next couple of months, expect to see even more jelly bellies than on Easter, which is actually in a couple of months.

Plus, don't be surprised if Janet doesn't turn out to be more successful in the long run than Ruben Studdard, just like everyone else. I can't imagine that the producers of the American Idol video game won't license her likeness for use as some sort of hidden character in the next edition of the game.

Furthermore, she inspired me to get pumped for my next job interview.

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

A few months ago, I started doing a thing called Taste Test Tuesday. Every Tuesday, I try to taste some sort of  new and different restaurant or food. I showed, but didn't taste this candy, Juicy Drop Pop, in one of my latest videos.

Though most people didn't think twice about Juicy Drop Pop, one of my friends did some deeper digging, and using "Sight Beyond Sight" a.k.a. Google, she found a website for this candy.

This website features a commercial for Juicy Drop Pop that is well... see what Media Bites had to say in the most academic terms.

They tiptoe around this in the Media Bites breakdown of the spot, but I can only describe the commercial that they have up on the Juicy Drop Pop website as CANDY PORN. They even call it "Hardcore Candy," and don't even get me started on the Ed Hardy tramp-stamp tribal tattoo designs blanketing the website.

It's been a long time since I have seen something that made me feel so dirty... and if you know anything about me, you know that, that is saying a lot!

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!