Cat Mistake |
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Sexy Flexible Girl |
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Flawed Oil Change |
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Super Smart Chimp |
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Wheelchair Drifting |
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It's started, monkeys are evolving.
Yeah, it's pretty digustingly cute.
At once.
Doesn't drop a glass.
Spins her baby like a toy.
Monkey style.
Every day around 72 billion people use social networks. Today we pick one of them as the Social Networking All Star of the Day.
His name is Steven. We know that he's from England and he has a daughter, but apparently nobody has ever taught him how to spell. Or maybe he does know how to spell but somebody cut his hands off in an arm wrestling match and now he just pounds the keyboard with his wrists. Like a monkey, a blind one. We really don't know. But we're inspired to see this amazing display of awesome in a world that's just too judgemental, too pretentious.
Congrats, Steven.

The goddamn Vuvuzela. Not only does the Vuvuzela make us hate South Africa, it also makes us hate all of Africa, Nelson Mandela, Zebras, Monkeys, The Lion King, Animal Planet and just anything even associated with that part of the world. Vuvuzela, please GO AWAY KTHXBAI.

Hey, it's me again. LiquidGeneration's illustrator and functioning illiterate. Hola!
So I came across this weird website, ChatRoulette.com. It's a website that connects you instantly with a random stranger. Only you don't just chat, you interact with webcam and audio (you have the option to turn these off, but I never do because I like being creepy). Sounds exciting, right?
I ran some numbers on the site because I like math. The average age of the people chatting is about 20-years-old, though I did see a couple of kids and a man with a beard so long and gray he reminded me of Santa (my hero!).
The gender ratio is really imbalanced. For every 20 guys there is 1 girl (and even a couple girls that are really dudes). Most of the people are just guys with a frowned faces looking pathetic and depressing. It depressed me even just looking at them for half a second.
There are some girls, however most of them are too ugly to get a date. Then there are the mixed groups of guys and girls sitting at the computer together, which I guess is a little better than sitting there by yourself looking like a serial killer.
If people don't want to show their faces, they usually put signs up in place of themselves. They write things like "Tits or GTFO." I even saw a teddy bear wearing dark shades with a note that read "Cure My Blindness, Show Your Tits." So I did, even though mine are really small. The most shocking sign was "Show Tits for Haiti." I didn't do this because that would be wrong. And again, my boobs are really small and mannish so what would be the point? I'm not on the internet to upset people.
One of the more disappointing moments came when I chatted with a guy for a whole minute. I asked him to make a peace sign because I wanted to see if he'd follow my commands like a monkey, but he just smirked, flipped me off and disconnected!
So go ahead, talk to strangers! It's fun!
Also! Here are my statistics for approximately 100 chats I had on ChatRoulette these past two days. "Others" consist of pets, stuffed animals and drugs. Yes, somebody wanted me to talk to their bong.

And just so you get a sense of the type of people going to ChatRoulette, her are some of our favs that we found during our chat sesh:



He's going to snipe your penis! Watch out!

NBA superstar look alike Yao Ming! :p

i wish they all could be California girls.
There are lots of websites on today's information superhighway, and many of them are stupid. Like the one we found today. It involves popular film actor Tom Selleck, lush waterfalls and tasty sandwiches. And wouldn't you know? The website is called Selleck Waterfall Sandwich! Well look at that! All three of our favorite things wrapped up into one!
There is a truism we have about the internet and it's this: Whatever you want, it already exists. This is 99% fact. If you don't believe us just head to your nearest Google and just start pounding your keyboard like a monkey.
Here's a few pics from Selleck Waterfall Sandwich.



Some of you may know that besides writing blog posts about teen superstars and my eventual relationship with Dakota Fanning, I am also a screenwriter. I have written four feature screenplays, and of course, like 99% of all screenwriters, no one has even ever volunteered to read one of my scripts, much less produce it or air it a global television network (not even Spike).

Now, I wouldn't call any of my scripts works of total genius. They have mostly been exercises in futility with the hope of honing a skill that I can later sell to other poor schmucks that think that their story is worth seeing brought to life by Zach Efron and Suri Cruise (Silly Saturday rated PG for simulated farting noises). This said, I do think that all of my scripts are entertaining, and are better, more interesting than something say... A MONKEY COULD PUT TOGETHER! But I guess some "chaps," or more so, some "chimps," over at the BBC would disagree.
Apparently some chimpanzees have made a movie, and the BBC is going to air it despite a very weak plot line, worse cinematography than "Death Proof," and a total and blatant disregard for a hundred years of film making. Breaking the rules is something every aspiring filmmaker should try, but you have to understand the rules you are breaking to be groundbreaking.
Of course, just like James Cameron's Avatar, people are going to ignore all these flaws because of the fact that the chimps were using a new and special "chimp-proof camera" camera or "chimpcam." So what?! I've got a "chimp-proof camera." It's called a Flip HD.
Where can I go from here? I have hit rock bottom. I will never amount to anything. Maybe I should just start writing my outlines and treatments with my own poop.
Seriously, guys, chimps, bros, I'd love to work with you guys. I really respect your work and I have an outline for a ten movie series about a monkey named HAX. The whole thing is very high concept, so I can't say anything else without a deal in place. You love bananas. I love bananas. We could run this town. It's gonna be... bananas. Oh yeah, I definitely think we can get Gwen Stefani on board to do the soundtrack... yeah, and Ryan Gosling has already expressed interest.
"Take your stinking paws off my film industry, you damn dirty chimps!" -Chuck McCarthy

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration today!
Glen Bell, the founder of both Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel, died on Saturday at the age of 86.
I know that this news has deeply effected several of my friends... one friend in particular... When my friends are sad, I get sad, so I am... sad.
I got sadder just now, when I went to the Taco Bell and Wienerschnitzel websites and discovered that neither had made any kind of move to honor or even acknowledge the passing of the man who gave them life, the man who gave their taste flavor combinations to the world.

So, I urge all of you to post these commemorative Glen Bell is dead, death logos on your own websites, blogs, and Friendster pages to honor his last... run for the boarder.


Here is a list of fun facts about Glen Bell that I put together, so you can share when people ask why they should care.
1. He FOUNDED Taco Bell. What else do you want?
2. He co-founded Wienerschnitzel. They have a new Coney Island Dog.
3. He divorced his first wife Dorothy because she didn't like Mexican food.
4. While in the marines he loved food so much that he was assigned to be a waiter.
5. A former employee of his at Taco Bell founded Del Taco. Yeah! This guy is directly responsible for Del Taco too!
6. He looked great in a sombrero.
You know when you get really drunk and high from huffing spray paint (gold) out of a paper bag (brown) and you and your friends come up with the most AMAZING idea? These are the greatest ideas, right? Right?
What do you think would happen if for some reason you had access to all the elements and ingredients to make your ideas reality... Yeah and your grandparents owned some sweatshops where 12-year-olds slaved away making socks for the British Premier League, so you have a big trust fund. Basically, you have infinite resources. What do you think would happen?
Yeah, besides the first ever monkey, marshmallow go-cart champion being crowned, (Mr. Chattlebanks), because that's awesome.
What would happen?
You would make some pretty awful stuff, stuff that would amaze people on one level and one level only. Yeah, the "why-the-F-did-this-ever-get-made-and-who-thought-that-this-was-a-good-idea-were-they-high-on-gold-spray-paint?" level. You got it!
Oh, you want an example of this kind of idea brought to fruition?
How about this video where an underage white girl runway model, Karlie Kloss, claims to be from St. Luis and then plays ping pong with Notorious Wally Green?
Did that illustrate my point? Did I have a point?
I guess my point is that money is no substitute for talent and true genius, and neither is gold... spray paint.
P.S. JD Ferguson directed the above video. Is he the greatest director of our time?
Disclaimer: I did no research whatsoever into how this video actually came about, and I know nothing about JD Ferguson.