I'm not sure who Michele Merkin is, she's some sort of model apparently. What I do know is that she's got a super name. And I love her for that.

What would happen if America's Next Top Model did an American Apparel photoshoot with AA's creepy mustachioed founder, Dov Charney? Well someone might DIE.

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!

The world's first bitchiest supermodel models her crotch. Gross.

And now for the gals and gays… MALE MODELS IN THEIR UNDIES!

Oh big deal, so Mischa's a pothead! It's not like she's a role model on the OC anymore!!

This hot, pants-less 18-year-old model recently died of a heart attack. Seriously, all the sexy skinny chicks are croaking!

America's Next Top Model is already tops in my pants! Er, I mean book!

Model Jordan is the foxiest one in this photo!

Word is she might go back to modeling… for Lane Bryant!

Izabel Goulart is French for "sexy sexy ooh la la."

I hope that bedspread was a Christmas present from someone sexy!

Is this why they have that ban on extremely skinny models? Because I totally thought this was sexy.

This hot chick is modeling with a chainsaw! Boring but sexy!

Kirstie wanted to show Oprah up by stripping down to her skivvies. I don't care how well Jenny Craig worked for her, she still makes me uncomfortable.

This is Jean-Paul Gaultier's lingerie for today's healthier eaters!

Check out this model that passed out on some reality show. It looks totally staged. What do you think?