In theaters 1-4-08. In this remake of the Japanese horror film "Chakushin Ari", several people start receiving voice-mails from their future selves -- messages which include the date, time, and some of the details of their deaths.

In theaters 1-25-08. Jerry inadvertently erases all of the videos in his friend's store. In order to keep the store's one loyal customer, an elderly lady with a tenuous grasp on reality, the pair re-create a long line of films including The Lion King, Rush Hour, Ghostbusters, When We Were Kings, Back to the Future, Driving Miss Daisy, and Robocop, putting themselves and their townspeople into it.

In theaters 12-21-07. Treasure hunter Benjamin Franklin Gates (Cage) looks to discover the truth behind the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, by uncovering the mystery within the 18 pages missing from assassin John Wilkes Booth's diary.

Miss Mary dresses like Mrs. Finch from "Follow that Bird". She looks like she escaped from the mental wing of Shady Pines retirement community. Get a new look granny!

Jessica Simpson looks like a dumb Muppet from Fraggle Rock. All she is missing is a dunce cap and a catchy song about dyslexia.

Forget about maps and look at some boobs.

This week America’s sexiest swine offers up a batch of her favorite celebrity boobs.

Another amazing speed painting of Optimus Prime. Only thing missing is Michael Bay, showing up to ruin everything.

Luckily, this huge truck missed hitting any pedestrians!

Here's Miss Moss looking atrocious, possibly at Glastonbury, wearing hideous Size -2 vinyl pants, Mick Jagger's discarded old black v-neck tee, and some sort of nasty lace shoulder jacket possibly stolen from a Goth linebacker. No wonder she's in love with a junky.

Miss USA showed poise in times of hardship when, during the Miss Universe Pageant, she fell on her tush and bounced right back up, as though nothing happened!

The ‘06-’07 TV season is ending, and here are the hotties we’ll miss the most.

Miss Jessica was seen partying like a single gal (John Mayer dumped her!) at PURE nightclub in Vegas recently. When's she selling a blow-up doll of herself?

This little cutie-pie is all alone now that his internet stalker isn't around any more. Won't someone please fill the hole in his adorable heart??

This slut is just hanging out all over the place.

Don't miss the awkward tension between these two… Simon tells Ryan to come out, and Ryan laughs it off!

Don’t miss our tips for getting the perfect gamer gifts this holiday season, featuring Special Guest Star: S&M Santa! Ho, ho, holy crap it’s some boobs!

Apparently Beyonce was tired of Tyra showing her up with her crappy wigs, so Miss Bootylicious got one at the Halloween store.

Her butt has my vote!

Miss MySpace "IT" girl can't get into the club until her fake "boyfriend" Jared Leto shows up. I'd think he'd show her a little more love if she was his girl, don't you?