Hey guess what, nerds! Being a dork is popular these days! In fact, nerding yourself up will get you rich! Laid! Jay-Z isn't your hero these days, it's Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, right?

No?

That's what I thought. Still, this parody of Jay Z's Empire State of Mind preaches The Dream for all you socially enept people out there.

Hey, just so you know: there are things other than tiny private parts on ChatRoulette. There are also LiquidGeneration artists on the site. If you're matched up with one, just let the artist know and we'll send you a little prize. One lucky ChatRoulette loser already ran into one today. His mind was blown, obviously. 

Dear Southwest,

I was saddened to learn of the plight of Hollywood polymath Kevin Smith. It is unfortunate that as the world grows in size, airplane seating remains mired in an age of smaller, trimmer bee-hinds. Having been a Southwest fanatic since being old enough to purchase airfare, I would like to suggest amending the customers-of-size policy before a tsunami of lawsuits overflows my favorite airline much like customers’ cheeseburgers overflow your armrests.

I have always been perplexed by the arbitrary rules chiseled into air-travel. 50lb bags are ok but 50+a pair of shoes = $25. The armrest rule makes sense but the width of the armrests seems narrow for the times and the overhead compartments have been whittled into wedges that discourage no one from stuffing in their bulging closets. We need change. The country wants it. And being who you are, it should be you to trailblaze.

Unlike politics where the goal is to grow bigger and spend more, business change can happen economically. At your core, your business is little different from that of any parcel service. You shuttle parcels from point A to point B for profit. Yours only happen to have heartbeats. And whiney demands. And peanut allergies. But at the very very core, the business is the same. The heavier the load and the larger its dimensions, the higher the cost of freight. It simply costs more to ship Mr. Smith and his colleagues in circumference than a group of people gymnast-sized.

So how best to handle arbitrary body-sizes? Formulaically.

At the curb-side checkin, Southwest should install scales where the passenger, with all baggage will be weighed. The total weight is the burden of the airline based on which the fuel is purchased. Computers will also size up both the person and the carry-on and decide how best to seat them and how much space will be required to make things comfortable for everyone. Customers-of-width can easily be seated next to customers-of-length without too much negative effect. Since size is arbitrary, so should be the armrest widths, and all passengers can have the option to purchase as much width as they like on top of their required minimum. Analogy would be choosing the right-sized box for your parcel except the parcel is yourself. It must cover your shipment but beyond that, your box can be as big as your budget allows. All collected data will boil down to a price which would be the passenger’s fare. Those watching in horror as a Mr. Smith-size person lumbers towards that middle-seat will know that even though the flight will be unpleasant, Mr. Smith paid more for his than they did. He should considering his greater burden. Given that we humans are fairness-minded apes, that knowledge alone would make things better. At least until the TSA requires stasis for air travel at which point you’ll just be able to stack us up any which way. Just don’t beak our legs like you do our roller-wheels.

Love & Bacon Grease,

Helga Mohammed el-Salami
SFF - Southwest Fan Forever

http://www.helgasmailroom.com/

Me and Kevin, right before he ate that child.

When we first saw this picture of Mad Men star Christina Hendricks on the cover of New York magazine two things immediatly came to our mind: 1) This is the perfect women and 2) We will never have a shot at her because she obviously marries ugly douchebags, of which we are not because we were born with the handsome gene (this is a total lie. Everyone who works at LG is pretty much the ugliest person on the planet and if one of us were to come face to face with Mrs. Booby Hendricks, she would surely vomit into our mouths.).

And this is who's banging/married to Christina. I know! He's some actor I guess, and not even a famous one! His name is Geoffrey Arend and he looks sickly, like he might die at any minute.

This is why newspapers are failing. It takes more than just mentioning Lesbians to get readers. It takes making sense.

If there's one thing we approve of, it's candy. Always candy. Forever. Especially when it's Kim Kardashian's.

This just in! After pressure from Liquid Generation readers, Taco Bell has updated their website with some sad sauce for Glen Bell.

We salute you LG readers.

His daughters are kinda hot. The one on the right is Ayla and the blonde is her sister Arianna. The awkward one in the middle is Scott Brown himself!  I guess Ayla is some kind of singer with a pretty amazing website. And she seems to have social media down so that's cool. Ayla is 21 and Arianna is 19, so we have no qualms about playing a little game of WYR here. We're Team Arianna. You?

(via AnimalNY)

Digging deeper and deeper into M Magazine, it didn't take me long to discover that I wasn't as out of touch as I had initially thought. On page 13, not only did I find out that Taylor and Taylor are both a little unsure about dating someone named Taylor, but I also found out that M Magazine readers are interested in being in the last Twilight movie, something I had blogged about 4-5 months ago.
M Magazine doesn't just pose the question though, they answer it.

"Can you be in the last Twilight movie?"

M Magazine's answer? "Yes."

I immediately started taking their advice. I went to ExploreTalent.com. Though there were no actual casting call listings for Twilight: Breaking Dawn, and it seems like a sight completely based on exploiting dreams to identify a certain marketing demographic, I signed up. I also started reading Breaking Dawn for the 9th time, as suggested, and I started really trying to be myself, as suggested.

One of their pieces of advice did seem to be a little bit of a no-brainer: "Try not to act super-duper bubbly or overly eager."

Duh! The only super-duper bubbly vampire in the Twilight series is Alice. Do I look like Alice?

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin).  Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Ready for your brain to be melted? We've found 4 of the craziest Optical Illusions on the internet. When I sent these to my Mom and her friends, they were blown away. Almost immediatly, all of them ran to their internets, fired up AOL 5.0 and sent off a chainletter to everyone they knew. Subject line: IF YOU DON'T SEND THESE OPTICAL ILLUSIONS TO TEN PEOPLE YOU'LL GET THE HERP. Such sweet people. But seriously, these are some of the best Optical Illusions anywhere and they'll leave you completely baffled. The mind, it's a crazy, miraculous thing. 

1. In this optical illusion, all of the grey lines are parallel to each other.

2. This is the same type of illusion as above. All of the lines are parallel to each other, and all of the boxes are correct squares with 90 degree angles.

3. See the squiggly black lines? Yeah, they're not squiggly. They are completely straight. Your mind: it's effing with you.

4. This is the optical illusion that really got us. That circle is not a circle. It's a Triangle. Don't believe us? Hold your head close to the screen and take a closer look. It's a freaking triangle, dude.

The newest greatest website on Earth, Nic Cage As Everyone, is kind of amazing. Zacolas Cage is a beautiful man.

This animated gif of Lindsay Lohan is the future of online entertainment.

Holy crap, you guys. You want to show the girl (or guy!) you want to bang that you're interested in them? Write them a love letter - using Google Docs! It works, just watch this video! Because seriously, when we think of love letters, we're sooooo 2K9 that paper and pencil - or even regular ol' email -- doesn't even cross our minds. No, we're from the future! We write with tools from the future! We collaborate online! Just like this dude here, who from what we can tell is a total virgin! I mean, who wears turquoise shirts! Virgins, that's who!