Closes cupboards for you.

I don't even know what to say about this one.

Is taken on a roller coaster ride.

These celebrities like to drink milk because drinking baby blood would be too disgusting.

The following stunt is approved by Sir Isaac Newton.

Bet that cow really appreciates such a practical use of its resources.

The cheerleader applies a glue mustache, as you're supposed to think its "milk" but you'll really imagine its something else...what a twisted web we weave.

Rod Stewart's daughter has some fugly butt cheeks. It looks like someone took a baggie full of cottage cheese and milk, and shook it around.

Anne Hathaway is proof that milk does a body good. However, sucking on your boyfriend's hairy nipple isn't a strong selling point.

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Ever-freaky Courtney Love looks like a bloated, exploding French maid. Even Paris looks normal next to her.

I would call this table sexist, if I didn't just LOVE what it does for my décor.

Fruity Pebbles -- the cereal that turns the milk BLOOD RED!

A milk explosion would seriously do some damage here.

These mothers just had their babies, so naturally, their boobs are ginormous and fantastic.