3dW4RDMYLUVAH88 Author Image

TWILIGHT WAS AHHHMAZING

By: 3dW4RDMYLUVAH88
November 20 2009, 9:41 AM

 

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

 


OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

 

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

New Video: 10 Hilarious Family Guy Songs

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 12 2009, 9:04 AM

 

Oh, you've heard of Family Guy right? Well, you should really sing-a-long to these songs, especially while you're at work or in the middle of class. It will make everyone know that you're totally into hating on deaf people, because who isn't?

 

Celebrity Yearbook Game

Celebrity Yearbook Game

We've found pictures of all your favorite celebrities at the most horrible and embarrassing time of life: middle school. Can you see past the pimples and find your favorite (soon-to-be) celebrity?

 

Orchestra Conductor Prank

Orchestra Conductor Prank

Thank God there is always a camera rolling at middle school orchestra recitals, that way the child is traumatized for life and not just a minute.

 

Adam Lambert Might Wear Makeup

Adam Lambert Might Wear Makeup

Adam Lambert uses more coverup than every tranny on the earth combined.

 

Dirty Hippies Cry Over Dead Trees

Dirty Hippies Cry Over Dead Trees

Celebrate Earth Day by despising a bunch of hippies who cry over dead trees.

 

Winehouse Celebrates Earth Day

Winehouse Celebrates Earth Day

By smoking a joint, what did you expect her to plant a tree and drive a hybrid?

 

Jeff Goldblum Is Shirtlessly Confusing

Jeff Goldblum Is Shirtlessly Confusing

We can't figure out why the paparazzi would take a picture of Jeff Goldblum taking his shirt off and it looks like Jeff is wondering the same thing himself. Maybe it was a "Earth Girls Are Easy" fan.

 

Portrait of a Naked Oscar Winner

Portrait of a Naked Oscar Winner

From William Goldman to Diablo Cody you've come a long way screenwriters. How on Earth did you get studios to pay you when she is the "best" of the year?

 

Kick Stand Camel

Kick Stand Camel

This must be how people in the middle east keep their camels from running away. It’s better than strapping bombs to them. Ailalalalaay!

 

Americans Are Silly

Americans Are Silly

Most of the middle east is hot, dull and colorless. What makes you think a terrorist would suddenly jump ship and start decorating things with pretty lights?

 

Straight to the moon!

Straight to the moon!

Don't worry everyone, that's biofuel she is using. The Earth will be fine.

 

Chicken Legs

Chicken Legs

Can you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to find this creature rummaging through your trash bin? Ewww!

 

Big Hanging Balls

Big Hanging Balls

Ecologists' and green enthusiasts have developed a earth friendly habitat that hangs softly from the trees, connecting you to nature. You know what else hangs? Dez Nuts.

 

Pluto Hunts Children

Pluto Hunts Children

Pluto must have been kicked in the crotch one too many times and decided to run down this little brat. So much for "happiest place on Earth".

 

Rapid Hypnosis

Rapid Hypnosis

How much do you want to bet that alcohol just never worked for this guy? He then turned to hypnosis and found Earth girls are easy.

 

How Prehistoric

How Prehistoric

The Cavemen did nothing to advance their "kind" as they left The Ivy this weekend. Although we don't really know what the middle finger meant back then.

 

Burial Gone Wrong

Burial Gone Wrong

This Middle Eastern burial is very traditional – until the worst possible thing happens.

 

Paris Nailfile Cake

Paris Nailfile Cake

A local L.A. bakery is selling "Paris Visitor's Cakes" – muffins with a fake nailfile through the middle! That hot!

 

Suicide Socialite

Suicide Socialite

Paris Hilton constantly inspires art. That's why someone made a wax rendition of her in the middle of a suicide attempt. That won't get you out of prison, Paris!!

 

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