Britney got drunk and topless after shooting a "video". Her assistant arranged for her to make out with an extra. He sold the pictures to pay for the doctor's visit the next day.

From drunk driving midgets to pregnant sandwiches, Philip Norris is bringing you the goods one celebrity jackass at a time!

WEIRDEST COMMERCIAL EVER! Actually it's for a convenience store in Canada that sells Slushy-like drinks called Frosters. This flavor is called "WTF" ("Where's The Froster?")

A classic upside-down picture: old lady, or young hottie?

Paulina is Latina, which means she's got a booty, loves to shake it, and nobody complains.

Just because there's a camera that takes your picture on a roller coaster doesn't mean you can punch a girl.

Froot Loops now have straws made of cereal to suck up your leftover milk! No more looking like a slob, drinking from the bowl.

Stamos appeared on a British morning show, unshaven and apparently SLOSHED, but blamed it on "jet lag," which I'm guessing is the name of a delicious new vodka in England.

Dumb European students + even dumber stunt attempt + sidewalk = I hope you have some Advil.

Chrisopher Blue has apparently been soaked in booze. Was he drunk during his session? No, BUT every review I have read about him compares his songs to Tom Waits and says he has “blues-soaked vocals.” I dunno about all that, but I do know this is one helluva performance. Watch it…now!

HEY! Do you need gratuitous amounts of ENERGY? Then drink POWERTHIRST!!!

Recently the bloated princess of pop vacationed from her busy 15-minute lip-sync concert tour and headed off to Mexico. Apparently she thought "South of the Border" meant it was okay to show off her cheesy gordita ass in a thong.

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??

Nicole Richie sent a sarcastic yet caustic email invitation to her Memorial Day BBQ that demanded binge-drinking and anorexia at the bash. Later Mischa Barton passed out.

Now that she's BACK in rehab with a DUI under her belt, Svedka Vodka has pulled the plug on hosting her party (as in, busloads of free vodka) and the tragic irony of a 20-year-old in a drunk driving accident just weeks before her 21st birthday starts to sink in. Fun!

We love Paula Abdul because she never fails to make us laugh. ...at how drunk she is.

In the Liquid Generation version of "The Office" season finale, Pam and Jim are totally boinking. I mean bleeping.

Exclusive Video! David Hasselhoff's kid films him eating on the floor while warning him about not drinking any more booze that night, lest he lose his job. That's one sad dad.

Bill Murray was wasted at this New Orleans bar, and almost got into a fight – until some dude talked him down, and afterwards he bought everybody drinks! What a guy! AWESOME cellphone video!

I say she's drunk.