This rare breed of dog has two mutant genes that lead to freakishly large muscle development. This may or may not foreshadow the downfall of humankind.

Beware to all you show-off drivers and wannabe ghost-riders of whips. Your vehicle may turn against you.

Paris gets owned in a really Disco way! Warning: may cause seizures!

Sacha Baron Cohen's smokin'-hot lady-friend, Isla Fisher, is with child. May the fate of Kazakhstan be saved!!

The jury is out for some, but for those of us who've been following the recent growth of the celebutard's lady-pillows, I think she's gotten something done.

Amy Winehouse may have alcoholism in her name, but she also has blow in her nose! When whiskey makes you fat, how does one keep in brillant shape? Snort away the pounds!

This magician may be a little strange, but he's excellent at reading your mind. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the card trick.

Farewell Anna Nicole Smith. As we take one last look back at your life we take comfort in the fact that although your soul may have shaken off this mortal coil your silicone filled boobies will be around for centuries.

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present… Tony Danzig.

Demetri Martin is a funny person. You may know him from the Daily Show, but now you can know him from his Comedy Central special. Here's a clip.

This truck may only be a semi, but is fully pimped-out. Who needs trucker speed when you have 2,500,000 watts of neon keeping you awake!

Racism has been a very bad thing for society, but you may not know that racism also extends to gaming. For example, elves discriminate against dwarves, and humans don’t like orcs. It’s true!

PMS may not be the problem you thought it was! Mwahahaha!!!!

Some may argue that this pantiless up-skirt shot is a programming glitch, but I know how those Japanese programmers minds work. Dirty, dirty, dirty.

She may style Lindsay and Nicole, but the drapes she has for a face certainly need to be ironed out!

: “I may have gotten beat up a lot but in the end transferring to Compton High was totally worth it.”

These boobs may or may not have been a football correspondent.

If you’re eating a delicious plate of Sesame Chicken right now you may want to stop.

Here’s a collection of people who really pissed us off this year. May they burn.

Suck My News Weekly is a slanderous look at the week's news, hosted by the cranky and awesome Philip Norris.