OTHER COOL STUFF

 


American Apparel just ended their Best Bottom In The World contest; you can see the top three butts right here. There were over a thousand entries, and the winner will be flown to LA for a special photoshoot, but if their really lucky they'll probably be sexual harrassed by CEO Dov Charney (yippee!)!

This competition is a little crazy. I mean, forget about the Top 3 Best Butts...here are the Top 20. For the life of me I cannot figure out what is wrong with any of these or how one can be better than the other. They all look the same and by "same" I mean I would shoot a dozen puppies just to see them in person. Don't believe me? Just try it, ladies! Come to my office and see what will happen!

But what about the big time losers in this contest? Did anybody really submit a butt that wasn't attractive? I clicked my mouse over a hundred times to find out.

THE TOP 5 UGLIEST BUTTS IN THE WORLD

Now, there were a bunch of people with scores of zero. We're not going to count those because they probably entered the contest late and their butts are just too nice to be losers, so we suspect there is a glitch in The Matrix. We just took the lowest of the scores that weren't 0.0. Here's what we found.

5. Carlos. Score: 1.24

Why did they let dudes enter this contest? A major fail on the part of the organizers. Plus, his photo is in black & white. Fail on top of Fail.

4. Alisa. Score: 1.22

I'm not sure where the ass is on this lady, or if it's really a lady. It could be a dude like Carlos. I don't really want to investigate any further.

3. JL. Score: 1.21

Hairy legs! A Sure winner we tell you (maybe in Afghanistan)!

2. Shyla. Score: 1.19

Am I missing something? Where is this lady's butt? Did it fall off on her way to the meth lab? I really want to know as to avoid the town she live in.

And the #1 Ugliest Butt In The World....

1. Raggedy. Score: 1.17

 

There is no cottage cheese in this woman's butt. It's pure milkshake. 2%. And thank God she's wearing black underwear. We don't really want to know what's happening behind that bikini.

(via American Apparel's Best Bottom Contest)

 

This Is The Dude That Directed The Matrix

This Is The Dude That Directed The Matrix

Here's Larry Wachowski, the director of The Matrix. His name is now Lana and he wears your mom's underwear.

 

The Matrix Cat

The Matrix Cat

The Matrix Cat can dodge bullets but he can't stop saying stoooopid things like "Whoaaaa" or "69, Dude!" when he really gets in the mood.

 

Peter Griffin Takes The Red Pill

Peter Griffin Takes The Red Pill

Peter Griffin's bigass chin gets inside the Matrix.

 

Ping-Pong Matrix

Ping-Pong Matrix

Only the Japanese could have done this for they are the most amazing people on the internets.

 

Sexy Shopper

Sexy Shopper

Ah yes, we knew there was at least ONE person who watched The Matrix.

 

Let's Talk Movies: The Matrix Revolutions

Let's Talk Movies: The Matrix Revolutions

Here’s a little talk show about a movie that everybody says, “Sucked.” Was it really that bad? Your host Sak Stevens interviews Keanu Reeves to find out.

 

Whoose Boobs Week 91: THE MATRIX CHIX

Whoose Boobs Week 91: THE MATRIX CHIX

Whoose Boobs is the internet’s #1 celebrity boob game. We show you three boobs and you have to tell us who they belong to.

 

The Gaytrix Reloaded

The Gaytrix Reloaded

Watch LG’s very own Randy Duck (Neo) as he battles a limp-wristed Agent Smith. All raw! All uncensored! All really gay!