It's really a debilitating disease.

In real life, alcoholism is a horrible disease (see Lindsay Lohan.) But hard-drinking cartoon characters are super cute.

Half of Saudi women are fat - "Nearly half of Saudi women aged between 30 and 45 years are fat and this makes them more vulnerable to heart diseases, according to a medical study published in a local newspaper on Monday." Mean.

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Lifehacker pretended to be a doctor last week and put together an article about What Alcohol Actually Does to Your Brain and Body. It's long, so grab a drink.

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Speaking of alcohol, doctors are now saying that it's okay to booze it up if you've had Heart Bypass Surgery. Though it's still hard to justify the hookers and blow.

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Men fake orgasms, too. "Several men in the study reported faking an orgasm because they had no other way to end a sexual encounter without awkwardness," says the Fox News article. Wait. FOX NEWS IS REPORTING ABOUT SOMETHING BEING FAKE. OMG, U GUYS!!!!1

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Neanderthals had a naughty sex life. This isn't a medical study per se, but it does confirm our suspicion that damn, we used to be a bunch of sluts, ya'll.

I don't care if you sing it, scream it, shout it, or moan it. I never liked all these things when I was a kid. This Mama has lungs!

We don't care what the haters say about here. Heidi Montag is a near perfect example of what all humans should look like, even dudes. If there were just a bunch of people walking this Earth looking like Heidi Montag this world would just be a better place we think. World peace, no diseases except STDs, etc.

Folks, we've been blessed with another Michael Jackson. Kinda. Here's a before and after of alledged steroid abuser/baseball player Sammy Sosa. Now we have no idea whether he bleaches his skin or has that crazy vitiglio disease, but we DO KNOW that his face looks squishy like a Madball. AMMIIRITTTTE GUYS?