Do you remember that song you used to sing when you were a little kid about your boobs and butt and balls and how they all hang low? Well, we just rewrote it.

Get tits-wasted and play the High or Low card game with Tara Reid.

In theaters now. Three kids hire a low-budget bodyguard to protect them from the playground bully.

Realistically this will provide a slightly more sanitary option than her old method of pissing her pants on stage.

What better way to court a lady than to scream "Look, I have no class."

If your hair is shiny and yellowish, and you have a low ACT score, you may be one of the millions of people affected by Blond.

Seriously, was kind of drunk jerk laughs when they're telling young people not to drink and drive? And who exactly was making this crappy-ass low-budget commercial??

Baby-daddy Larry Birkhead has a tattoo of Anna Nicole on his lower back, just in case we weren't sure which side of the trailer park he's from. (It's the trashy side.)

The Enquirer published ths photo of Anna Nicole's corpse, even though the picture wasn't real. How low will they go?

The "Brief Safe" can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. These specially-designed briefs contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro® closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them — wouldn't you?

Here they are! All the remaining holiday references we couldn’t work into the last three Who’d You Rathers! All at prices so low we’re practically giving them away!