But committed, he really wants another doughnut.

If you're in the market for a cheap but entertaining DJ for your wedding, be sure to give this guy a call. He is an internet hero right now.

Because we're curious bastards, we noticed the Stardust Entertainment sign on the DJ's podium, so we paid their website a little visit. This is what it had to say:

Basically, they are such little liars, beause anyone who would use Comic Sans on their website is totally into booby slapping. Everyone knows that.

This is Coco, rapper Ice T's girl. Many of you would laugh at a girl like this if you saw her at the gym. Some of you might even call her a slut, skank, whore -- all those horrible words used to denigrate women who don't look like your mom or sister or homely wife. You might say, "Well, I can't be with a girl like that because her boobs are too fake," or "I'd never bang a girl like that because it looks like her ass is stuffed with two giant pumpkins, which are stuffed with warm cottage cheese." Well, you're a liar. You're a big fat loser of a liar. We all know we'd marry a chick that looks like this. We'd give her all our money, we'd let her have 12 of our children. We'd do everything for her because a girl who looks like this deserves to have everything done for her. She's the one you've been waiting for all these years, she's the only one that could ever mean anything to you. Just look at her. Look at that ass. No Avatar effects here. Everything you see is real. Now stop judging Coco...stop judging Ice T. Go forth and find someone just like Coco and hold on to her ass till your last, loving breath.