We're not going to lie: this totally made us want to run to the bathroom, turn off the lights and hope to God nobody hears us.

We'd hit it. DON'T JUDGE US.

Filipino prisoners have choreographed what just might be the largest performance of Michael Jackson's Thriller. But the real scary part is the male inmate playing the "female" lead. Creepy hair!

How did she not know she was pregnant with a child that large!?!

The ocean, the world's largest toilet bowl.

That large black device placed above her ample bottom is a microphone pack for her new reality show tentatively titled "I'm Slightly More Interesting When I'm In A Bikini".

Seriously, if you think she's hot, go to Denny's, pick up a girl eating a grand slam, dress her up in fancy clothes, and enjoy.

In theaters 6-13-08. Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. With Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel. A paranoid thriller about a family on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity.

In theaters 1-18-08. Set in a separate storyline not related to the "Trailer Park Boys" Television show, but with the same lovable characters. The boys get arrested for robbing an ATM machine and spend 18 months in jail. When the get out, they decide to pull off "The Big Dirty" which is to steal a large amount of coins because they are untraceable and quit their life of crime forever.

Jewel looks like she has had a boob job, but instead of silicone, the doctor dropped in a large clump of playdoh. Oh well, anything to distract from the teeth.

In theaters 12-25-07. Based on George Crile's book about the CIA's largest and most successful covert CIA operation, the arming of the Mujahedeen in Afghanistan. The covert ops were engineered by Charlie Wilson a charismatic, wheeler-dealer, liberal Texas congressman who teamed with a rogue CIA operative. The two manipulated Congress, the CIA and a host of foreign governments in order to assist the Afghan rebels in their fight against the Soviets in the 1980s. Many of the men armed by the CIA went on to become the Taliban's enforcers and Osama bin Laden's protectors.

You know, in the long run these really aren't that big. Sure, they are delicious, but in no way are they worthy of being noted as "ass" sized.

Yes I would like two Mexican pizzas, a large Coke and one Cat Meat Burrito. I prefer them slightly charred with just a hint of fight left in them. I SHALL DEVOUR!

In theaters 11-9-07. Fred Claus has lived almost his entire life in his little brother’s very large shadow. Fred tried, but he could never live up to the example set by the younger Nicholas, who was just a perfect, well, Saint. True to form, Nicholas grew up to be the model of giving, while Fred became the polar opposite: a repo man who then steals what he repossesses.

That baby's head is bigger than Kanye and 50 Cent's egos combined!

China's got back! In the world's largest bathroom!

This rare breed of dog has two mutant genes that lead to freakishly large muscle development. This may or may not foreshadow the downfall of humankind.

Masha Tyelna is a 17-year-old model from the Ukraine, and is considered to have the largest eyes in the modeling world! I'm scared!!

Don't be distracted by his large, phallic guitar. There's a REAL "lil' Prince" he wants you to check out.

Jordan was spotted recently in large bikini top and not-so-large bump. Her belly's going to have to really work it if it wants attention away from her boobs!