Two things learned from the video: never drive in Russia, and uh... never ride in a car in Russia. They're worse than L.A. drivers.

A local L.A. bakery is selling "Paris Visitor's Cakes" – muffins with a fake nailfile through the middle! That hot!

Bizarre L.A. TrafficWatch: No one's on the freeway – why???

Slutty hipsters, skanky drug dealers, happening party-people, all in the LA club scene. I hang out at these bars so you know this sh*t's good.

The couple that parties together, eventually will have to enter rehab together. Welcome to L.A., Beckhams!!

Fergie was TOO DRUNK TO FLY the other day when she tried to board a flight to L.A. from London. They wouldn't let her on, and she was falling over. (We presume she was sober enough when she did this Maxim shoot)

DO NOT ACCUSE LOHAN OF DRUNK DRIVING. She will zap you.

When you're playing a stripper in a movie, you gotta do your homework. Lindsay Lohan seen leaving a stripper dance class in LA.

How does Barak Obama rate on a Blackness Scale? Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton do the math.

Paris & Nikki Hilton and Nicole Richie are seen here posing with Michael Jackson. Weirder still is the old man next to them with the oxygen machine.

The wax figures of Victoria Adams and David Beckham were recently draped in American flags to celebrate their recent move to the US. Yay, more big-tittied tarts and their super-studly metrosexual man=meat in L.A.!

I think it's just Michael Jackson under that burka…

Izabel Goulart is French for "sexy sexy ooh la la."

This little guy is waaay too good to be a lowly subway performer. Get this guy on Hollywood Boulevard, stat!

This reminds me of that Janet Jackson 'Rolling Stone' cover. Only a lot more wholesome!

Since you didn't go see Snakes on a Plane (like everybody else apparently), why not watch Snakes on a Claire Danes? She's so much hotter than Samuel L. Jackson!

Samuel L. Jackson just announced plans to voice the part of God in a new audio version of The Bible.

This week Kanye West discusses his homophobia, Wal-Mart hires illegals, 50 Cent teaches us how to read, and Michael Jackson uses the women’s bathroom.

This week a Star Trek cast member comes out of the closet, Stallone wants to do another Rambo, and there might be another crazy Jackson on the loose.

This week Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston hook up, Bush and Bono have lunch together, Michael Jackson gets called for jury duty and other signs the world is a truly crunked-up place.