The weekend is hear and Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Maybe you should try learning how to cook a turkey before you embarass yourself in front of the family you hate.

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

One of the artists here (Heri!) really loves Twilight, but he likes to pretend he's so above it and makes fun of those (me) who show just an ounce of interest in the movie. Whatever. BELLA 4 EVAH!

You know God's just getting back at the world for all the horrible webshows on the internet. Instead of just picking us off one by one and sending us to heavan or hell, he's just tossing us about like ragdolls. JUST TAKE US ALREADY, GOD!!! STOP EMBARASSING US!

It's happend with Jesus on pieces of cloth and tree bark, and now it's happening with Michael Jackson on hospital baby scans. What you see here is not just a baby, but the majestic face of the King of Pop Himself, Michael Jackson. This is such a miracle, you guys. How blessed are the parents of this child? Not only does their child look like Michael Jackson, but he'll probably sound and grab his crotch just the way He did. They can only hope, we're sure.

In the name of the Father, Son, and Michael Jackson. Amen.

(via Telegraph.co.uk)

For some reason a box of Sprinkles Cupcakes, Mrs. Fields Cookies, and some leftover Halloween cookies were sitting on an empty desk inside LG Headquarters. So was a bottle of the weightloss drug Zantrex (we have no idea how that got there...perhaps somebody is sending us a message? Collectively, the company only weights 50000 billion pounds so I don't what that message can be). Anyway, thought we'd open up an LG store to give some of this stuff away (except the Zantrex!). If you'd like any of these things please let us know. Or if you have any other questions or complaints. Our email talkback@liquidgeneration.com!

This girl has an amazing talent that she's been working on since she shot out of her mother's womb. She can sneeze like there's no tomorrow. We totally wish we could do this so people wouldn't sit next to us on the airplane.

Dear Helga,

I’ve always been fit, but recently, I’ve been stressed out and working a lot, and I’ve put on 10 pounds. I’m horrified by it, but my boyfriend says that he can’t tell the difference. I find that extremely hard to believe. Are guys really that nonchalant about weight?

Dear Tenner,

Of the few certainties in life, you can be certain of two things: 1.) men don’t fake orgasm – and 2.) are NOT nonchalant about YOUR weight.

Even though your BF may be carrying the last 50 beers he drank around his belly, your extra dime is a bigger crown of thorns for him than for you. But – he is wisely taking the passive approach – for now. He wants to see if you are really as horrified as you claim to be.

Get your tonnage back to the gym big-cheeks. You’re not following process. First you marry him and pop out 2.5 children THEN you can cut your hair, gain your weight, quit your job and whatever else you women do before settling on the couch for the next 30 years.  

Love,

Helga

Do you have a question that can only be answered by our uncircumcised, pre-operative transsexual? Write to him/her: helga@helgasmailroom.com

Or Visit: http://www.helgasmailroom.com

Or, better yet, get bent.

Everything.

(via Emily A)

Get close to your computer screen and check out what the hell is happening in this video. Bob Dylan = certifiably donkey bonkers. I'm not sure if he's channelling Tom Petty or he's just a happy-go-lucky albino leprechaun, but this is prolly one of the greatest things ever and I'll cheerish it for as long as it's on YouTube.

What the hell did this kid do in his past that warrants him being on an subway advertsment for losers?

Is he an alcoholic? Heroin Addict? Did he accidently shoot his pet dog? Did he push his grandma down the stairs? Hopefully he just murdered one of his Pokemon action figures or peed in his pants, because damn, this is just pretty sad all around.

(via Jennifer Favorite's Twitpic)

In honor of 'New Moon,' we've decided to put together a list that showcases just how sexy vampires can be. Now don't make a mess of yourself.

Helllllo my friends,

Lady Gaga here and I have something extremely important to share with you today...for God and the Gays, for the misfits and the miscreants....for the future and all that we hold true in this world and I just want to thank you, my fans, for being here with me right now. I feel truly blessed and I'm so happy that I get to share with you this moment on this little speck of space on the internet so that you and I can be closer and make this whole thing, this whole shining radiance of magnificient things real and One and at peace for the world. I truly, truly believe this. Be here with me.

I am opening up my sketchbooks here for the first time because I believe we can transcend all the hate in the world just by this tiny act, regardless of whether or not God and Gays get along, or whether or not you believe I have a penis, or whether or not everything that you hold true in this world is negated by everthing that was negated by all the Powers and Purpose from the last time you listened to one of my songs. I don't want to get long winded here, but I just want you to know I hear what you're saying and that I truly believe if we just keep making music and loook towards the future...not just of a future of fashion, but a fashion of future, than everything will be alright.

So without further ado, here are some costume ideas I'm working on for my Winter concert tour...

Do you have any costume ideas you'd like to share with me? Just send them too LadyGagaIsFashionable@gmail.com and I'll post them here soon!

God, Gays, and Trannys,

Lady Gaga

Today it's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday, featuring puppies and kitties (or kittehs, for the annoying people who come here). Why do people want to put a gun to faces of their little furry friends? We can only speculate it has something to do with imbreeding. But we're not scientists, so how the hell would we know.

A young a-hole in training. (via hangglide)

Why do parents buy Crocs for their kids? And why doesn't this dog bite off that little brat's head? (via ChickClick)

Crazy eyes and rape face are usually the same thing. (via randy metcalf)

...more pics after the jump....

Dude kind of looks like Vince Vaugh's tardy brother. (via castermer)

"Deaadd kittteehhhhhh" (via sayzey)

At least the blood will look cool on the window. RIGHT, GUYS!?!?! (via misterentropy)

Point a gun at anything adorable lately? Be sure to send us a picture: talkbalk@liquidgeneration.com!

In this month's Playboy Magazine, supernerd James Cameron said he designed his female Avatar aliens with breasts, even though they're not placental mammals (don't worry, we have no idea what that means either!). Since the movie cost around $500 million and it's in 3D, we can only hope that those boobs are so amazing they pop out of the screen and punch us in the face so hard they give us a black eye. We hope! But what if they aren't? Whose computer generated/animated boobs will you fall back on?

We've always been partial to Angelina Jolie in Beowulf, which you probably didn't see because the movie sucked. But damn, look! They even made her eyes look like she wants nothing to do with us, just like in real life!

Do you have any favorite computer generated characters? Share in the comments. Watch our 10 Sexiest Cartoon Characters if you need a little help deciding.