3dW4RDMYLUVAH88 Author Image

TWILIGHT WAS AHHHMAZING

By: 3dW4RDMYLUVAH88
November 20 2009, 9:41 AM

 

After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

 


OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.

SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE  EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!

!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!

THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!

AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!

LOVE YOU.

 

 

 

Yes, we're not going to lie. We're going to go see Twilight just like everybody else is. However, we're buying up the 50 seats surrounding us because we don't want to sit next to the people in the videos below. It's not that we find them so annoying, we just don't want to share our tissues with them!  (Just kidding! (j/k again!) (j/k!) (no really, j/k!)

The Nutty Madam

 

The Chubster Spazzes

Click here to see the rest...

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

This Child Is Clearly A Loser

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 17 2009, 10:28 AM

 

 

What the hell did this kid do in his past that warrants him being on an subway advertsment for losers?

Is he an alcoholic? Heroin Addict? Did he accidently shoot his pet dog? Did he push his grandma down the stairs? Hopefully he just murdered one of his Pokemon action figures or peed in his pants, because damn, this is just pretty sad all around.

(via Jennifer Favorite's Twitpic)

 
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It's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday!!

By: LG Staff
November 13 2009, 3:04 PM

 

Today it's Point A Gun At Something Adorable Friday, featuring puppies and kitties (or kittehs, for the annoying people who come here). Why do people want to put a gun to faces of their little furry friends? We can only speculate it has something to do with imbreeding. But we're not scientists, so how the hell would we know.

 

A young a-hole in training. (via hangglide)

 

Why do parents buy Crocs for their kids? And why doesn't this dog bite off that little brat's head? (via ChickClick)

 

Crazy eyes and rape face are usually the same thing. (via randy metcalf)

...more pics after the jump....

 

Dude kind of looks like Vince Vaugh's tardy brother. (via castermer)

 

"Deaadd kittteehhhhhh" (via sayzey)

 

At least the blood will look cool on the window. RIGHT, GUYS!?!?! (via misterentropy)

 

Point a gun at anything adorable lately? Be sure to send us a picture: talkbalk@liquidgeneration.com!

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

From The Tubes: Auto-Tune Cute Kids and Kanye

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 12 2009, 1:21 PM

 

Invite a lady friend over, turn off the lights, and get into the mood. Or just listen to this by yourself and cry. Whatevs.

(via The Gregory Brothers)

 
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President Obama Orders LiquidGeneration to Save The Children

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 10 2009, 3:29 PM

 

Excuse the dust around here, and all the little bugs and mispellings you're bound to find on our little corner on the internet. We're going to try something a little different today.

As part of President Obama's push to make more American teens read, he personally reached out to LiquidGeneration* to provide some word-based entertainment for you. Sure, you'll still see our award winning** animations and games, but you'll also see Words. Lots of them, as ordered by the Commander In Chief of the United States of America. So if you don't like it, don't be mad because we'll just ask Obama to bomb you. For the children. Because he wants them to learn how to read, through us.

Thank you for reading,

LiquidGeneration

P.S. - If you see anything you love or hate, we'd like to know about it. Just leave a comment below, or if you really want to make me upset and cry like a little girl, just shoot me a personal email: slippy@liquidgeneration.com.

 

*no he didn't

**Awards, as in the cookies our mothers give us each time we make fun of Lindsay Lohan. They hate her because she's one of those "fast girls." Their words.

 

 

 
Slippy Jenkins Author Image

Reason Not To Have Kids #267

By: Slippy Jenkins
November 10 2009, 9:24 AM

Seriously, if your kid is just going to narc you out to their teacher, what good are they anyway? Kids are for tying your shoe laces, grabbing you a beer and that's about it. You shouldn't have to worry about them telling everyone they know that you earn money making it rain for perverts. LiquidGeneration's been making games and animations about boobs and Britney Spears' drunk butt for years, and our nephews still think we sell insurance. Seriously! Every time I come home for Christmas they never ask me how work's going because they feel sorry for me. Anyway, there's just some things your child shouldn't know and your stripper job is one of them. Also: never bring your work home with you.

(via Don Chavez)

 

Kid Sings Kings Of Leon Horribly, Gayly

Kid Sings Kings Of Leon Horribly, Gayly

It's like Michael Jackson's was reincarnated into a chubby kid who can't sing. How adorable.

 

Lindsay Lohan: Before and After Meth

Lindsay Lohan: Before and After Meth

Just kidding. We don't know if Lohan does meth, she probably doesn't. But we certainly know she has a meth face, which is the WORST kind of face if you're going to have any face at all.

 

Fat Kid In a Skate Bowl

Fat Kid In a Skate Bowl

Ugh. We identify too much with this. Too much. We are crying right now. Crying. We hope you, too, can feel his pain if you're not fat. Today, we're all fat kids.

 

Hilarious Driver Soaks Kids

Hilarious Driver Soaks Kids

This driver should be celebrated for being the Douchiest Douchebag In The Entire World.

 

Fill In The Blank: Fat Kids

Fill In The Blank: Fat Kids

Help these famous cinematic porkers out by finishing their lines so they can get back to eating. They’ll eat you if you get the answer wrong.

 

Does It All Hang Low?

Does It All Hang Low?

Do you remember that song you used to sing when you were a little kid about your boobs and butt and balls and how they all hang low? Well, we just rewrote it.

 

Fat Kids Getting Hurt to Music

Fat Kids Getting Hurt to Music

Watching random people get hurt to touching music really makes our day. It's the perfect combination, like peanut butter and chocolate.

 

Even Babies Love Hooters

Even Babies Love Hooters

This kid is going to grow up to be such a baller.

 
 

Halle Berry Boobs It Up On Leno

Halle Berry Boobs It Up On Leno

Halle Berry denied she was pregnant again on the Jay Leno Show last night, putting to rest the rumors that her boobs were just big because she's having a kid. No, they're just naturally awesome like that.

 

10 of the Craziest Awards Crashers

10 of the Craziest Awards Crashers

Here are some of the craziest people every to crash and awards ceremony. And yes, some of them are just as retarded as Kanye West.

 

Fire Safety with Ready Freddy the Fire Teddy

Fire Safety with Ready Freddy the Fire Teddy

Ready Freddy is a helpful little Teddy Bear who wants to help kids learn about fire safety! Be sure to watch this with your kids!

 

Asian Kid Really Likes Boobs

Asian Kid Really Likes Boobs

Don't laugh. We're all obsessed with Vanessa Hudgens.

 
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