These kids have found the best way to kill time while waiting for the doctor...dance party!

Dang, I thought my parents were negligent!!!!

Such a doofus

If you're going to start smoking, might as well start a little early. This little kid's brain might not be fully developed, but his sense of style is - HE LOOKS AS COOL AS HUMPHREY BOGART! RIGHT!?!?!?!

We know it's fashionable to make fun of Taylor Lautner, the kid with the six-pack abs from Twilight. But we're not a-holes. We recognize Taylor's genius and that's why we're excited for a new comic book about the Half-Wolf Hero that will be in our sweaty hands come August. Just look at this cover:

The day that this is released is going to be the best day in the world. And this post is totally written without irony.

OMG We've never seen a dumber animal in all of our lives! This little guy actually thinks he's farting! HA! He should be put to sleep he's so stupid. 

Hey, just kidding about putting the dog to sleep. BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE HILARIOUS THOUGH!?!

I don't care if you sing it, scream it, shout it, or moan it. I never liked all these things when I was a kid. This Mama has lungs!

Animals! They can be dangerous! Especially ones that are huge, have wings and can't even fly! (WHY DOES GOD DO THAT!??!?). Here is a kid who falls of a horse (or donkey!?!) and gets attacked by an Ostrich. This is hilarious because the kid lives, but it is even more hilarious because the kid could have been killed and it would have been caught on film. WHO DOESN'T THINK THAT'S HILARIOUS!?!

Have you ever had your happiness destroyed by a single sentance? Yes, we all have! That's why, as we watch this clip, we are filled with tears and frowns. We feel for this kid. We were this kid. We understand this kid.

Although we'd never be so gay as to sing Beyonce. I mean, WTF!?!

Now, we'll leave it up to you (or this link) to find out whether or not this Scareface School Play is for reals, but regardless, it's just fun to hear kids say MUTHERFUDGER and COCAINE and generally act like the worst people in the entire world (drug dealers!).

I've never seen a baby this terrifed of Miley Cyrus since she tried to eat a baby. Pay attention of how she blinks and cries when she sees Miley Cyrus sing. What a smart little kid.

I love kids. I can't wait to have more!

Dude, we thought Amanda Seyfried was totally innocent the way she acts all innocent-like on Big Love. Apparently she's a big HO (just kidding! Not every girl who dresses up like this is a slut (only Heidi Montag and Lady Gaga!). Really we can think of nobody on Earth right now who is more beautiful than Amanda. It makes us want to buy a pair of whatever she's wearing so that we can be just as beautiful as her, too. Wait. That's the way it works, right?

More hawtness from Esquire right here.

Didn't your mother tell you not to pet the dog to hard? She also should have warned you about the dolphin.