After hearing about a new movie called Twilight: New Moon and that it's kind of a big deal, LiquidGeneration contacted the nearest middle school to see if anyone was interested in writing a review of the movie for us. This is the review we received.

OHHH MY GAWWWWD YOU GUYS YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THIS BUT I SAW EDWARD CULLEN WITH HIS SHIRT OFF I CAN TOTALLY DIE NOW. I PRAY THAT HE COMES TO MY SCHOOL AND SWEEPS ME OFF MY FEET AND ME AND HIM CAN RUN AWAY AFTER HE MURDERS BELLA BECAUSE HE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH ME AND THEN WE KISS DURING STUDY HALL THEN WE HAVE SO MANY BABIES OMG THIS MOVIE WAS SO GOOOOOD.
SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. I CAN'T EVEN KEEP MY EYES OPEN RIGHT NOW ME AND MY FRO9ENDS WENT TO THE MIDNIGHT SCREENING AND WE ATE POPCORN BUT NOT MY FAT FRIEND ANGELA SHE SAYS SHE NEEDS TO GO ON A DIET BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO LOOK GOOD FOR JACOB!!!@!!!! LIKE REALLY, ANGELA, JACOB DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU EXIST YOU WERE A FANNY PACK TO SCHOOL AND YOUR FAT HE'S TOTALLY NOT GOING TO BE INTO YOU. MAYBE ONE OF THE GUYS FROM HARRY POTTER LIKE THAT FIRE CROTCH KID, BUT NOT JACOB. JACOB IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU ANGELA AND I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT BUT I'M SORRY YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT BUT IT WAS SO NICE SEEING THE MOVIE WITH A BFF JUST LIKE YOU.

SPEAKING OF!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE JACOB IS GOING OUT WITH THAT GAWKY SQUINTY FISH FACE TAYLOR SWIFT. WHAT KIND OF LOSER DOES SHE THINK SHE IS ANYWAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS JACOB IS JUST USING HER FOR SEX EWEWWWWW. SHE'S SUCH A DIRTY SKANK IF SHE WAS IN MY CLASS I BET SH'E GIVE EVERYBODY AIDS WITH HER EYES. I H8 U TAYLOR DON'T COME NEAR ME!!!!!!
!!@!!@W!@!!@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!!!!
THE ONLY THING I REALLY DIDN'T LIKE IN THIS MOVIE IS BELLA. I'M SORRY SHE'S JUST SOOOOO STUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND SHE BITES HER LIP WHAT'S ON THERE ANYWAY? DO HER LIPS TASTE LIKE LICORICE OR SOMETHING OR IS SHE TRYING TO EAT A ZIT OFF THEM I BET IT'S THE ZIT. SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A GOOD PERSON FOR EDWARD HER FACE LOOKS LIKE A TROLL. WHAT DOES HE EVEN SEE HER IN HER? I REALLY HOPE SHE DIES EVENTUALLY BECAUSE EDWARD DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER DON'T YOUTHINK? I MEAN, I'M SORRY IT'S NOT LIKE SHE'S SOME AMAZINGH PERSON WHO CAN COOL AND WILL CLEAN FOR HIM AND GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE NEEDS LIKE I WOULD. I WOULD TOTALLY ROCK HIS WORLD IF HE MET ME I JUST KNOW IT...JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE EDWORD YOU KNOW YOU'D LOVE ME FOREVAHHHHHHHHH!
AHHHHHHH! CAN'T WAIT TILL PARTY 3 COMES OUT IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN!!!
LOVE YOU.
Here's a leaked screen shot from one of Britney Spears' music videos. It's censored because her nipples aren't really that big a deal.
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This 27-year-old Obama speech writer (left) is in a little trouble for grabbing fake Hillary Clinton's fake boob. We'd understand if he was grabbing Palin's breasteses, cause she's hot, but whatevs. If he likes man-boobs that's his deal.
This seals the deal. Today Britney Spears performed on Good Morning America and she looked smoking hot. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BRITNEY!
Her name is Jennifer Ellison and I guess she's a big deal in England, probably because she has big boobs.
Obvious gay jokes aside. Clay Aiken is gay and America should start to deal with it.
Look not even Rosie O'Donnell was this happy when she revealed she was a lesbian and you're not a good actress, so what's the deal?
For a game show that doesn't really measure intelligence, she sure managed to look bad.
In theaters 4-18-08. Devastated Peter takes a Hawaii vacation in order to deal with recent break-up with his TV star girlfriend, Sarah. Little does he know Sarah's traveling to the same resort as her ex ... and she's bringing along her new boyfriend.
In theaters 3-7-08. A couple that have separated are each attempting to pick up the threads of a future when they are dealt a further blow that leads to a dark conclusion. And a somewhat-nerdy young man in the throes of discovering a first romance must also deal with the separation and consequent strife of his parents' failed relationship.
Those robes look fabulous! We bet they were stained with grape Cool Aid, which they surely got a good deal on.
Thank god! Finally a place we can take our families without having to deal with all those damned homos! We will never again have to worry about gay men breaking into our houses and having anal sex in front of our children or us.
Another odd product from the people who are obsessed with farts, the Japanese. Maybe they should get busy on making the PS3 less crappy instead.
Country star, Brad Paisley made this video to make us all question whether Kellie Pickler has real boobs or not and to make us stop questioning his sexuality.
At first I was like, "big deal – so he's playing Tetris!" Then I realized that this version of Tetris could totally melt your brain into insanity. It's freakin' genius.
Rumor has it that she has a deal with a paparazzi company, and she's doing this sh!t for ca$h. Figures.
This Catholic mother isn't dealing with her son's recent conversion to atheism very well. Let's laugh!!
Former Idol Kellie Pickler returned to the AI stage, only to get oggled by Ryan Seabreast. I mean Seacrest.
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