Imagine dating this girl? Every time she laughed, a secret part of you would want her dead.

Has his own way of dealing with illegal parking.

This is how they're dealt with in Russia.

It's best just to accept it and stay indoors.

Newly elected West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin taught us all a valuable Christmas lesson on Saturday, when he attended a family Christmas party. No big deal, right? Except that it was during the voting for the DREAM act and the Don't Ask, Don't Tell repeal. The Senator inspired slackers everywhere by not showing up to do his job and instead going to a party, then proceeded to inspire blowhards everywhere by criticizing the DADT decision that he didn't see fit to vote on. The Senate is currently rescheduling important votes to make sure they don't conflict with Manchin's anniversary, birthday, or his niece's piano recital. One thing's for sure, though. Republicans will not be able to accuse the Democratic Manchin of being "at war with Christmas".

I'm sure PETA loves this, but it's one hella effective method of dealing with vermin.

I don't care if this is fake or not, I love it. Zach Anner should definitely win Oprah's 'Your Own Show' contest.

Zach's oprah deal from Zach Anner on Vimeo.

What's the deal with these tinfoil robot girls dancing to Daft Punk? Are they sexy? Are they dudes? Are they aliens from outerspace sent here to take all our Nutella and kill us? We have no idea! We're a little scared! But we can't stop watching. And dancing!

What's the deal with weathermen? They are like the Ed Hardy of the nightly news world. Total d-bags. A quick search throught the LiquidGeneration archives show you that if you've failed at life you're most likely a weatherman for the 11 o'clock news. We imagine most weathermen (oh sorry, meteorologists!) are sad, alcoholic cocaine addicted wife beaters for some reason. We have nothing to back this up, it's just a feeling we have (intuition, bitches!).  Anyway, another weatherman was acting like a complete asshat recently and we thought you'd like to know about it. He talks about his pee pee.

Some of you may know that besides writing blog posts about teen superstars and my eventual relationship with Dakota Fanning, I am also a screenwriter. I have written four feature screenplays, and of course, like 99% of all screenwriters, no one has even ever volunteered to read one of my scripts, much less produce it or air it a global television network (not even Spike).

Now, I wouldn't call any of my scripts works of total genius. They have mostly been exercises in futility with the hope of honing a skill that I can later sell to other poor schmucks that think that their story is worth seeing brought to life by Zach Efron and Suri Cruise (Silly Saturday rated PG for simulated farting noises). This said, I do think that all of my scripts are entertaining, and are better, more interesting than something say... A MONKEY COULD PUT TOGETHER! But I guess some "chaps," or more so, some "chimps,"  over at the BBC would disagree.

Apparently some chimpanzees have made a movie, and the BBC is going to air it despite a very weak plot line, worse cinematography than "Death Proof," and a total and blatant disregard for a hundred years of film making. Breaking the rules is something every aspiring filmmaker should try, but you have to understand the rules you are breaking to be groundbreaking.

Of course, just like James Cameron's Avatar, people are going to ignore all these flaws because of the fact that the chimps were using a new and special "chimp-proof camera" camera or "chimpcam." So what?! I've got a "chimp-proof camera." It's called a Flip HD.

Where can I go from here? I have hit rock bottom. I will never amount to anything. Maybe I should just start writing my outlines and treatments with my own poop.

Seriously, guys, chimps, bros, I'd love to work with you guys. I really respect your work and I have an outline for a ten movie series about a monkey named HAX. The whole thing is very high concept, so I can't say anything else without a deal in place. You love bananas. I love bananas. We could run this town. It's gonna be... bananas. Oh yeah, I definitely think we can get Gwen Stefani on board to do the soundtrack... yeah, and Ryan Gosling has already expressed interest.

"Take your stinking paws off my film industry, you damn dirty chimps!"  -Chuck McCarthy

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration today! 

Let me paint a picture of a man-boy, a legend in the making. This man-boy lives in the woods of the great northwest - Jack London territory - Twilight territory - Kurt Cobain land... you know, like around Seattle.

He lives like a James Bond-Goldilocks, sneaking into people's houses, stealing planes (he learned to fly from video games), stealing speedboats, using night vision goggles to hunt and live off the land, and supplementing his diet with pizza that he has delivered to the woods. Not too hot -not too cold - extra cheese and just right.

The painting of this legend gets bolder, more intricate with every detail, with every stroke of the brush, and I'm not done stroking.

Like Yogi Bear he doesn't wear shoes while snagging "pic-a-nic" baskets, but he isn't stopping at sandwiches, and Park Ranger Smith isn't the only one he is outsmarting. The police and FBI are hot on his trail for over 50 alleged burglaries. Did I mention that he likes to take "cheeky" pictures of himself with victims' digital cameras (in my book this means pictures of his penis wearing sunglasses)?

Who is this man-boy, this 18yr old legend in the making?

Have you heard of Colton Harris-Moore?  You just did. Oh, and Jason Bourne... GFY!

Watch the video below, and read these articles to find out more.

Now that you are on Team CHM (Facebook Fanpage alert!) and love him more than Jacob Black, would you pre-order a copy of his video game?

What would you call his video game?

What would you call his movie?

Do you think that Mercedes should be paying him for his endorsement?

Chuck McCarthy is the mastermind behind IdeasByChuck.com, where he gives away great ideas in the hopes that you turn them into reality and remember to send him a small percentage of your profits. He Twitters here and Tumbls here. Chuck will be guest blogging for LiquidGeneration the next couple weeks!

Less than 5 pages into the magazine I came across this article about Serena Williams' recent tennis win against Mother Nature (must be Mick Foley's cousin).  Apparently, Serena shut Mother Nature out in straight sets, proving not only herself as THE dominant force in women's tennis, but also showing great ethical fortitude, as apparently Mother Nature has been trying to bribe her by sending her a gift every month.

Look. Yeah we're going to keep posting about Tiger Woods because that's the only thing on the news right now. So unless Jeff Goldblum dies in the next twenty minutes or we just fall alseep while writing this post, this is what you're stuck with so just deal.

So far there are SEVEN girls (or NINE, nobody really knows) who have come out and said they banged Tiger Woods. That's a lot of secret phone numbers to keep in your secret iPhone which will eventually make it's way onto the internet so that your secret sexy sext messages and nude pictures will be seen by the world! Respect!

In case you were wondering which of his mistresses is the hottest, we've got that taken care of for you. We're even going to add Elin to the mix because we're worried she'll be jealous (she's suffered enough!). This was a relatively easy task because the girls all have their own look. None of them really look the same. It seems that Tiger's only requirment for banging a girl was that she had a vagina - that's it! So here we go...

8. Florida waitress, Mindy Lawton. She looks like one of our alcoholic neighbors. "WUD YOU LIKKKE MEE TOOO SEDUSH UUUUUUUUUUU!"

7. Rachel Uchitel. This an old photo of her. In her new photos she looks like this, but more plastic. And less like her lips are made of liver.

6. Don't know what Tiger saw in Jaimee Grubbs. We guess it's kind of cool that she was in Tool Academy. Wait. No we don't. There is nothing redeaming about this chick besides her taste in short red clothes. Moving on.

5. Porn star Holly Sampson. Now we're talking. Now we understand why Tiger Woods would cheat on his wife: Elin obviously hated gay people. Holly Sampson supports gay people so much she's willing to wear a rainbow bikini on her boobs. That could be the only reason why he'd sleep with a porn star, right? RIGHT!?!

(click here to see the rest of the list)

Well, a famous porn actress according to US Weekly. Holly Sampson to be exact. She's of the MILF variety, too. Everybody who watches this stuff knows that MILF porn stars are the bottom-of-the-barrel porn stars. They are the ones who are usually meth addicts. What's the deal with Tiger Woods? He's a billionaire. He should be dating Victoria Secret models and Donald Trump's leftovers, not professional skanks.

Well, well, well. Aren’t we just the cat’s meow. And I say good for you, Tiger! Listen, we all get it; we’ve all been there. I mean, who among us isn’t a billion dollar entity who regularly dips the ol’

9-iron into a waitress’ wedge? It’s the circle of life! (And just a regular Tuesday, if you live in Florida or Nevada!)

But why is the media so willing to fault Tiger for these transactionsgressions? If there’s anyone to blame for Tiger’s “Mistress of the Month Club”, it’s his parents. Give your baby a porn star’s name, and what can you expect? It’s like naming a kid Jeeves. Or Ruth. One’s bound to fetch your smoking jacket; the other’s destined to become a hulking Eastern European who sloughs off the dead skin on your heels.

But Tiger’s parents’ poor name choices aside, what’s the big deal? Should the big-bucks sponsors like Nike and Cadillac really care what Tiger does off the tee? Because by my count, he’s just sticking with brand awareness:

Nike: “Just Do It”

Check.

Cadillac: “Re-imagined. Re-inspired. Re-invigorated. All designed to reignite the soul.”

Check.

AT&T: “Talk is good.”

If you’re a brand, check.

So by that logic, Tiger’s Sexy Times may just help our economy keep on going. His marriage may not, but that’s his parents’ fault.